Everyone who watches Bachelor in Paradise was prepared for the drama. But sometimes it gets exhausting. Luckily, there is a funny, friendly bartender to provide entertaining asides. Wells' commentary on Bachelor in Paradise is the therapy we all needed when things start to get messy. Because of course it did.
Part one of the drama came when Christen arrived on the scene and decided to ask Matt on a date. Matt, however, had been hanging out almost exclusively with Jasmine. Jasmine was not happy about this. While they were on their date, Alexis told a long story about Christen pulling scallops out of a plastic bag in the car while they were on their way to somewhere. She apparently then wiped her scallop fingers on Alexis' shoulder. The best part of this story, however, was not the story itself. It was Wells' retelling of the "scallop fingers" story in a confessional interview, complete with Alexis' New York accent.
It was exactly the relief I needed after all the drama. Unfortunately, the "scallop fingers" nick name appears to have stuck. The producers even started putting it under her name as her profession. What I will remember most, however, is Wells' rendition.
And thank the old gods and the new, as the story continued, so did Wells. With puppets. Wells later brought out a cheerleader puppet to represent Christen, and provided the audience with a dramatic interpretation of what she might be thinking in her head. Basically, that she loves Matt and that she's sure that asking him out on a date will have no negative consequences whatsoever. And a person named Jasmine was not going to rip her face off. Jasmine is probably not going to literally rip Christen's face off. That's pretty extreme. But suffice it to say that she was definitely not happy, which, you know, fair.
But I'd like to personally thank Wells Adams from the bottom of my heart for his puppet shows. Wells is the levity we need to bring us all back to reality. Because all of this is so incredibly ridiculous, and I honestly think we need a person like Wells on these shows to remind us of that.
Basically, Wells is the on-screen version of all the snarky comments I would normally write and react to on Twitter, as one tweeter noted (ironically). Now if I could just get him to follow me around and provide insightful commentary on the rest of my life, that would be great.