For the majority of new moms, sex it the last thing on their minds. Think about it. Your hormones are fluctuating, your body is still recovering, and you're just straight up exhausted. Those four to six weeks where sex is a no-no can be a godsend. But, when you are finally ready to get your freak on, it can be devastating to find that your body isn't responding to sex in the same it always has. It's important to figure out why you may be anorgasmic after having a baby.
As the Mayo Clinic explained, anorgasmia is a medical term that refers to regular difficulty in reaching an orgasm after ample sexual stimulation, especially when it causes you personal distress. If this is happening to you, know that you are not alone. Many new moms find that they have to rediscover their bodies after childbirth. Body parts have been stretched, they may have grown, gotten smaller, or shifted, and it may take some time before you start to feel confident in your post-baby skin. Anorgasmia can be physical or emotional, so you shouldn't hesitate to talk to your health care provider if it's happening to you.
Here are some of the reasons why you may be having trouble reaching the Big O after having a baby.
1. You Have A Damaged Pubococcygeal Muscle
According to Columbia University', the pubococcygeal muscle is a sling of striated muscles that holds the genitals in place. This muscle is where an orgasm begins. During childbirth, the pubococcygeal muscle stretches like a rubber band and can become loose, or it can be damaged during an episiotomy. Doctors will typically recommend Kegel exercises to strengthen this muscle and help get your orgasms back.
2. You're Too Stressed Out
It's totally normal for a mom to feel stressed out after bringing home a new baby. Your amygdala, the part of your brain that controls your fear, anxiety, thoughts, and feelings, is working overtime in the weeks after your baby is born. As Everyday Family noted, focusing during sex requires the amygdala to shut off, which can be nearly impossible if you are thinking or worrying about your baby. This means that you probably aren't going to get much satisfaction if you are trying to have a quickie while your baby takes a 30 minute nap. Consider waiting until your baby is fed and will be asleep for a few of hours before trying to get busy.
3. You're Libido Is Low
Some moms just can't get in the mood. According to Baby Center, research has found that around 20 percent of women have little or no desire for sex three months after delivery, and up to 21 percent have a complete loss of desire or aversion to sex. For some, it could be a drop in testosterone after child birth. OB-GYN Dr. Linda Bradley told Everyday Health that testosterone in women helps drive desire, fantasy, and thoughts about sex, and provides the energy for sex. If your testosterone is low, or if you're on the pill (the estrogen from birth control pills may bind to testosterone) your libido can suffer which can make it difficult to climax.
4. You're Depressed
Whether it is minor or severe, depression can mess with your sex drive. Postpartum depression (PPD), defined by the Mayo Clinic as a severe, long-lasting form of depression that comes as a result of giving birth, may be the reason you are having a hard time reaching orgasm. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, 10 to 20 percent of new moms will experience PPD, and around 50 percent of women the baby blues. If you have symptoms of PPD, contact your doctor right away.
5. You're Experiencing Vaginal Dryness
According to Healthline, your estrogen and progesterone levels decline dramatically after giving birth. Estrogen is what boosts the flow of blood to the genitals and increases vaginal lubrication. A drop in your estrogen can result in vaginal dryness, which can make sex uncomfortable and orgasm difficult to achieve. Consider using a lubricant during this time, and don't forget the foreplay.