Toddler

a dad and daughter playing, why does my toddler play with my ears
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Here’s Why Your Toddler Is Obsessed With Ears, According To An Expert

It’s probably nothing to worry about.

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As any parent knows, toddlers can get fixated on some pretty strange things. So if you’re asking yourself, why does my toddler play with my ears? please just know that you're not alone. Visit any parenting forum and you’ll find parents asking themselves the same thing, and discussing how their kids are just as fixated on a specific pair of lobes, too. And if you’re a new parent navigating the world of a young child, this behavior may seem especially peculiar, bothersome, or even alarming. You might even be worried that a habit of playing with ears is a sign of an ear infection. But we asked an expert what’s going on with toddlers and ears.

Why does my toddler play with my ears?

For the most part, the answer is simple: Babies and young children need and will find ways to self-soothe. “As children explore their bodies, it would make sense that they would find areas of their body that provide comfort,” Dr. Natasha Burgert, a pediatrician, tells Romper. Young children will often touch or fixate on various body parts in order to self-soothe, Burgert says.

“These soothing behaviors can be misinterpreted as pain like, for example, if a child is rubbing her ears,” Burgert continues. This makes sense, as pulling on an ear can be a sign of an ear infection. But ear infections generally come with other symptoms, such as fever, crying or fussing, trouble sleeping, balance issues, and trouble hearing. Five out of every six kids will likely experience one of these painful infections before they turn 3, according to the National Institute of Deafness and Other Communication Disorders. But again, just because they're common doesn't mean a tug on the ears automatically indicates an issue.

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Reasons toddlers play with their ears

Other reasons children might rub or pull on their own ears, according to the Seattle Children’s Hospital, are a buildup of earwax, or having an irritating soap or shampoo trapped in their ear canal after a shower. But “habit” is also listed as a main cause of rubbing ears on the same site, and if a young child is tugging on their ears sans a fever or crying, they generally do not have an ear infection.

“It does not take long...for astute parents to pick up on these soothing habits and enjoy the unique behaviors they may witness,” Burgert tells Romper.

So, how common is it for toddlers to tug on their (or other people's) ears as a self-soothing technique? “I have many kids in my practice who will pull their ears, play with their hair, or even rub their tummies as they fall to sleep or try to relax,” Burgert says. And because of how positive feedback loops work, they’ll continue to repeat the behavior so long as it feels good.

All in all, young children have no real need to reduce or stop behaviors like touching their ears or yours. As long as there are no additional symptoms, their behavior is likely simply related to self-soothing. If the behavior is causing any unpleasant side effects, though, you should always consult your child’s pediatrician to rule out any other issues.

Experts:

Dr. Natasha Burgert, a pediatrician and child health advocate at KCKidsDoc in Kansas City, Missouri

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