Is there some weird new guy code about dating that says you should just...never bring up the fact that you have kids? A dad went viral on Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole? community earlier this year for refusing to tell his dates he had children until “at least a year” into being together. Well if you thought that was bad, a new post is taking AITA by storm, in which one woman says her husband of approximately one year is just now telling her he has two kids, and that he suddenly wants custody of them. Now, she considering getting divorced.
In the Reddit post, the 27-year-old woman explains that she has been married to her 33-year-old husband for roughly a year. She describes herself as “vehemently childfree,” saying she has been “sterilized” and made it very clear she has no interest in bearing or caring for any children. Fair enough, ma’am! All was seemingly well until her husband surprised her with some news: he’s actually a father of two, a 10-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter. And now, he wants to file for 50/50 custody of the kids.
The idea to fight for custody came about because the couple shares a bank account for bills, but keeps separate savings and “fun money” accounts. “He pays regular child support, however, it dips into his fun money and he wants to be able to have fun like I am,” she writes. The poster describes herself as “having amazing pay for very few working hours” as a honeymoon planner. Her husband works 12- and 16-hour shifts as a nurse, so she expects to be the one caring for the children should he actually be granted custody. She said she wants a divorce. He says she’s an a**hole for not helping him save money. And Reddit has no mercy on him.
The comments on this post make one thing clear: no one thinks this dude is even a halfway decent dad.
“He only wants 50/50 custody of his own children because it’ll reduce his child support and give him some ‘fun money.’ He’s a f*cking loser,” says one. “How on earth has this guy been hanging out with his kids for the entirety of his marriage without his wife finding out? Or has he just been paying the child support and not actually developing any kind of relationship with them? And now he wants 50-50 custody, it’s ridiculous,” adds another. (One person replied to this by saying, “Easy. He didn’t. This guy is a sad excuse for a father.”)
There are also plenty of comments in support of the poster, with more than one saying the dad in this equation was just looking for a sugar mama all along. “Don’t you love being pressured to ‘step up’ and take someone else’s responsibility?” jokes one commenter. “Your husband lied to you and probably married you with the intention of saddling you with his children. Get out of this marriage whether or not he fights for custody. He is a liar and a manipulator, and your entire marriage is built on sand,” says another. Harsh, but this seems to be the consensus.
Whether the poster goes through with the divorce because her husband lied, doesn’t care about her wish to be child-free, ignored his own children for years, or just wants them now for selfish reasons, Redditors agree: it’s time to throw the whole man in the trash.