Sex

Experts agree that standing sex is great for both physical and emotional reasons.
LaylaBird/E+/Getty Images

Why Everyone Should Try Standing Sex At Least Once

Experts agree it’s hot for a good reason.

Updated: 
Originally Published: 

I'm a woman who has a hard time getting out of bed at any time of day, even if there's sex involved. But, I'm resolving to be less lazy, especially when it comes to sex. The reasons to try standing sex at least once are numerous, but at the top of that list is the fact that it can be a supremely fulfilling act.

Whether you spend all day at a desk or on your feet, standing sex is an experience that really does make you weak in the knees. Plus, there are plenty of benefits to trying something new with your partner. But even if you’re an old pro at standing sex, you can still use the act to spice things up.

“The benefits of trying something new — whether standing up or something else — during sex is that it gives couples a new adventure to explore together,” psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, Dr. Kate Balestrieri tells Romper. “You may decide it’s your new go-to position, or you may retire standing up sex after one go. Either way, you get to learn something new about your body, your partner’s body, erogenous areas to explore, or the way a new angle may feel.”

Standing Sex Offers The Chance For Intimacy Outside Of The Bedroom

Not that there's anything wrong with just liking missionary positions that are flat in the bed. After all, missionary sates your craving for face-to-face intimacy during sex, and you can still have that with a standing missionary position. But sometimes you desire a position that lets your partner know you can't wait to get in bed. The urgency and eye-gazing involved in standing sex can deliver this.

“Standing sex allows couples to be more intimate with each other,” certified sex educator Dainis Graveris tells Romper “If you go with positions that would enable prolonged eye contact, you get to be more aroused and vulnerable with your partner.”

It’s also perfect for laundry day — dirty sheets, no problem. No bed required for standing sex.

“Standing sex positions allow couples to have hot, spontaneous quickies. There are times when you just want to get it on and can’t wait to have sex between the sheets, and this position is the perfect solution.” Graveris says. “You don’t need to take all your clothes off. You can even do it anywhere as long as you find a spot where you’re sure not to get caught. But then again, the thought of being caught also makes this experience worthwhile.”

Just think of all of the places you can do it if you’re standing up. (Hint: Countertops are good for more than prepping a delicious meal.) If sex in public is something you fantasize about, or just something you'd like to try, why not give standing sex a whirl? Doorways make the perfect locale for doing it in public.

“Standing sex allows couples to role-play or turn their fantasies into reality — with consent, of course. Not only is your fantasy fulfilled, but also you get to add more excitement and spontaneity to your relationship because you have no idea what your partner will do to you,” Graveris says.

Exploring standing-up sex can also help you learn more about your partner’s sexual fantasies, especially if this is something you haven’t talked about before.

“It is common for partners to have different sexual fantasies and limits, but when couples approach new ideas in an authentic and non-shaming way, even if the original idea does not seem feasible, they may be able to find a collaborative solution that helps them build connection and co-create other possibilities for sexual and emotional intimacy,” Balestrieri adds.

Standing Sex Can Be Good For Your Body

Milos Dimic/E+/Getty Images

If you spend most of the day hunched over a computer, or you hold your tension in your neck, the last thing you want to do is aggravate your sore body during sex, which is a time to let go and relax. An aching back begs for a release of tension with a romp in the sack. But you don't want to put pressure on your spine when having sex. The solution? Standing sex.

“There are also health benefits of standing up while having sex,” Graveris explains. “These positions require arm, leg, and back strength. Having sex while standing up allows you to work on your core muscle groups, so you’ll have more stamina for sex.”

If you’re having trouble figuring out the logistics of it all, Balestrieri suggests “leveraging a sturdy wall, beam, railing or counter so you don’t have to worry about balancing or overexerting while you’re getting it on.”

Additionally, Graveris explains that “having more standing sex allows couples to increase their libido levels,” which can be incredible for your body and your sex life. “There’s no need to set the right mood or find the right place because you’re ready to have sex at any time.”

Changing Things Up Can Reignite Your Love Life

There's something primal about standing sex. Of course, being carnal with your partner turns you on as well. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting to please your partner. With standing-up sex (or even standing-up oral sex), you can do both. It can be a signal to your partner that you’re up for a more adventurous sex life.

“The best way to bring up a new idea is to bring it up directly, and at a time when you both are relaxed and in a good head space. You may want to consider talking about it in private, especially of you or your partner gets embarrassed easily talking about sex or if the subject has a lot of charge around it,” Balestrieri says.

Talking about your concerns and curiosities about standing sex can help you work through intimacy issues so that you can press ahead and actually engage in the act, which may serve to ignite passions. “Perhaps they are concerned about whether or not they have the physical strength or endurance,” Balestrieri adds. “Sex standing up does not have to be a herculean endeavor, so talking though some of the logistical options can help those fears abate.”

How To Successfully Have Standing Sex

One of the dilemmas of standing sex occurs when there's a dramatic difference in height between you and your partner. But, there are ways to solve the ergonomics of standing sex.

If you and your partner have a big height difference, grab a stool to get your bodies more aligned. Make sure it is securely in place on the floor, to minimize the risk of it moving just when you find the right spot,” Balestrieri says.

Additionally, Graveris says that couples with height differences can try standing doggy style sex, utilizing countertops to bend over, throwing a leg up to gain leverage, or even trying a standing 69 position if your partner can maintain lifting you while keeping their balance. Just know that standing sex may take some trial and error, so be patient with your partner.

“There are sex props that you can use as well for better weight support,” Graveris says. “Some examples include sex swings, straps, and bars. You can also use sex wedges and ramps for bottom-and-front support.”

“Sometimes trying something new can take a few tries,” Balestrieri adds, but using lube can help streamline the experience, and communication is key. “Talk realistically with each other about any physical injuries or limitations you may have, stretch, and don’t push yourselves beyond your limits.”

Experts:

Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Licensed Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and Founder of Modern Intimacy

Dainis Graveris, certified sex educator, relationship expert at SexualAlpha