Childfree Woman Is Tired Of Splitting Expenses For Her Friends’ Kids On Group Trips

When friends get together for vacation, things can get a little fraught and the best thing everyone can do is try to be as considerate of each other as possible. Even if most of the friends are parents and there’s just one childfree friend, as was the case for one woman on Reddit. The childfree friend has decided to draw a line in the sand with her friends after accommodating their children for years. And honestly, we absolutely understand where she’s coming from.

In a viral post on Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” forum, the woman in question shared that she and five of her friends do weekends away together, and she is the only one without kids. While her friends don’t bring their partners, they do bring their children. And it has really affected the dynamic of things.

“We always split the cost of the Airbnb equally and arrange a supermarket food delivery which is also split 6 ways despite the fact the kids stuff is half the food bill (they’re all fussy so completely separate food is bought for them — chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc),” she wrote. “I am gluten intolerant so need special foods but the group ask me not to add those to the order due to expense — they don’t seem to get me paying for kids food I won’t eat is the same as them paying for gluten free food.”

The poster also noted that she takes the sofa bed while the friends with kids get the bedrooms, and she didn’t bother saying anything until she recently got a dog. When she asked the group if she could bring her dog and went out of her way to share all of the steps she would take to ensure she had absolute responsibility for her dog, they told her she couldn’t bring her pet.

“I said in that case I would need to pay for a sitter/kennels and therefore I think we need to revisit the way we split the costs,” she wrote. “If I’m making concessions to accommodate the kids, then I should pay a smaller portion of the Airbnb. Also, I said I would not be paying for the portion of the food bill which is for the children. I’ll pay my equal share of the adult food but no more.”

“They have said I’m being unreasonable and they don’t understand how I can claim I’m getting the short straw with the room/food,” she added. “They believe I’m being petty because they said no to the dog — I don’t think I am. I’m just asking for them to make concessions for me the way I have for them for many years. They say I’m comparing my dog to their kids — I’m not, I’m pointing out that the money paid vs the resources being used is out of balance and now I have the dog, I can no longer support this.”

The childfree woman asked the Reddit community if she was being unreasonable and the consensus was absolutely not.

“Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. You’ve been subsidizing the kids and adults. Nothing wrong with looking after yourself for a change,” commiserated one Redditor.

“I would suggest a child free trip, everyone gets a room, and you’ll buy your own food due to medical accommodations. Having a kid does not mean they get to put an added cost on you. They have free child care with their partners who don’t join,” another person chimed in.

“You should not have been paying for the children's food in the first place. Especially if you are not getting the food to meet your dietary needs as part of the shop,” one more said. “Sleeping on the sofa should also not be your job unless you are getting a discounted rate. It seems they are in the habit of taking advantage of you.”

While many agreed that she’s “NTA” (not the a**hole) in this situation, they also felt she should have addressed these issues long ago. “You really should have had a discussion with your friends about all this before something like this could occur,” one said, while another wrote, “You should’ve addressed the disparity in beds/food long before now. But what’s past is past.”

Navigating the shift from being childfree friends to being parents is tricky, no one doubts that. The only way forward is setting boundaries, communication, and saying no to paying for chicken nuggets you’re not even going to eat.