For the 'gram
It’s just a phase, right?
Scroll through social media, and you'll probably see tons of pictures from your friends with kids showcasing fun family outings, sweet candid shots, and little moments capturing the joys of being a parent. Those are all lovely, of course. But personally, I love to see pictures of real life — the ones where you're a mess, your house is trashed, and your kids are rampaging like the little girl from The Exorcist. If you've got some snaps like that to share, you'll want to steal one of these hilarious Instagram captions for pictures of your kids being naughty.
Not everyone loves the idea of posting their kid's bad behavior online, but personally, I find it to be kind of cathartic. Taking a super funny picture of my daughter covered in blue paint helped me laugh about the situation, despite having to settle into the very unfunny task of scrubbing the paint off her skin and my floors. Looking at the situation through the lens of my phone camera helps me put it into perspective, literally and figuratively. Parenting can be exhausting, stressful, aggravating, and more, but there's so much humor to be found in it, even when your kids seem to be doing their best to break you down.
These Instagram captions will get some likes, some laughs, and most importantly, let some other parent know that their kids aren't the only little hell-raisers around.
1
“They say you get the kids you deserve. Well, I’m fu....”
Yes, your child’s behavior seems totally uncalled for. But also, does it kind of remind you of... you?
2
“Artist at work.”
If you catch your kids in the act drawing or painting on the wall, couch, dining table, or each other, this is the caption for you.
3
“Why?”
When all words have escaped you, and all reasoning seems to have escaped your children, this is the perfect, to-the-point caption for a photo of your kids doing what they do best: being absolute rascals.
4
"‘Have kids,’ they said. ‘It'll be fun,’ they said."
Parenting is obviously a lot of fun. It's just a lot less fun when your kiddo is melting down in public, melting down at home, puking, pooping, rubbing Play-doh in your carpet, etc. Honestly, I think I've had my kids do all those things in the space of a single afternoon.
5
"Free to good home."
You'll want to make sure all your Instagram friends have a good sense of humor before making jokes about giving your kids away.
6
"Serenity Now!"
Kids throw tantrums over the most bizarre, trivial things, and sometimes it just makes you want to blow up like Frank Costanza on Seinfeld.
7
"Kid for sale. Accepting all offers."
Likewise, you'll want to make sure your friends have a really, really good sense of humor before joking about selling your kids.
8
"Should have kept my receipt."
You can't return your kids (at least not without proof of purchase), but come on, it's tempting at times, isn't it?
9
"They're lucky they're cute."
Cuteness will make you forgive and forget just about anything in a hurry. And don't think your kids aren't using that knowledge to their full advantage.
10
"Send help. And wine."
Calling in reinforcements can be key when your kids are running wild, but uncorking a bottle of vino is sometimes an even more crucial survival tool. Substitute coffee or whatever your treat of choice is here if you're not big on drinking.
11
"I must have missed the tornado warning."
The rate at which my kids can absolutely wreck my living room is astonishing. Their powers of destruction even seem to accelerate when I've literally just cleaned up.
12
"The days are long, but... I can't remember the rest because I'm dealing with these maniacs."
The days are long. So long. Like count the seconds until bedtime arrives long. The years are short, it's true, but sometimes it's hard to remember that when you're thinking hiding in the bathroom just to get a moment of peace.
13
"Santa will be hearing about this."
Every kid ends up on the naughty list at some point.
14
"Something tells me I should call my mom and apologize."
Sometimes it feels like your kids aren't just misbehaving, their handle you a big old dose of karma for the ways in which you drove your own mom nuts. Now you get why she loves being a grandma so much.
15
"TFW your kid just DGAF."
Sometimes you have to just tune out the tantrums. As your child does not GAF, you, too, must not GAF.
16
"Is it bedtime yet?"
Raise your hand if you've ever found yourself counting every single second until bedtime. Oh, look, every single mom in the world is raising her hand.
Your next Insta post? A pic of your kiddo sleeping, with the caption, "FINALLY!"
17
“It’s the weekend! Just kidding, parents don’t get a weekend.”
Once you have kids, those carefree weekends are a thing of the past. You have 24/7 responsibilities now, and they get up really even when it’s a Saturday.
18
“Waiting for my ‘Mom of the Year’ award.”
This is a great one to use with a pic of your kids doing something totally against the rules, like climbing the walls or playing ball in the house. Because they’re going to break the rules anyway, so you might as well make a joke out of it.
19
“Same as it ever was.”
A fitting caption for a pic of an incredibly messy living room (or bedroom or car interior), this quote is a reminder that no matter how many times you clean up, the mess will come back again. And again.
20
‘Living the dream.”
Nothing like misbehaving kids to really make you feel like all your wildest fantasies have come true. Just like being a movie star, right?
21
“Jealous?”
Of course nobody is the tiniest bit envious of a parent whose child is in the middle of a meltdown or some other form of misbehavior. That’s what makes this caption so utterly hilarious. Tragically hilarious, even.
This article was originally published on
