If you've ever fallen in love, you're probably familiar with the phase of a relationship where you stay up all night and talk about everything under the sun. Those early days are magical and they usually lead to some deep conversations where you learn a lot about one another. As time marches on, you'll gain even more insight into what makes your partner tick, and there are some questions about your partner that you should definitely know the answers to by the time your relationship reaches the point of serious commitment.
Of course, you'll probably cover the basics early on. You know, stuff like the color of their eyes and where they went to college. You might learn which type of chocolate they like best (milk, dark, or white?) and if they're a cat or dog person. But when it comes to the more interesting and surprising things that your partner may reveal over the course of a lifetime, you might be shocked to learn the answers to more than a few of the questions below.
Even the best relationships keep growing together over time, so it's never too late to learn little intricacies like what your partner likes to watch on TV when they're sick or what superpower they wish they could have. If you aren’t positive that you and your partner would ace a round of The Newlywed Game, read on to see which answers to the questions below you already know and which ones you still need to ask.
1 What Does Friendship Look Like To Them?
One of the things you should know about your partner is
what friendship means to them. Are they the kind of person to take a big weekend trip with friends once a year? Do they prefer intimate, one-on-one dinners with their BFF? Are phone calls their thing, or do they prefer to text with their friends all day? Learn how they interact with their friends so you’ll know when they need some time alone to reconnect with a friend or whether you can join in on the group activity. 2 Are They Allergic To Anything?
Although it might seem a bit obvious, knowing if your partner
has an allergy is important. Whether it's a mild allergy to strawberries, or a life-threatening allergy to a bee sting, knowing the intimate details of your partner's health can actually save their life — especially if an accidental allergy reaction or attack happens. 3 Who Would Be Their Dream Dinner Guest?
This is a fun topic to talk about with anyone, but it can also be a question that brings you and your partner closer when you ask if you don’t already know the answer. If your partner could have anyone as their dinner guest, alive or dead, who would they choose? Ask why they would want to meet that person, and then share who would be at the top of your list for this special dinner, too.
4 What Is Their Dream Career Goal?
A person’s career can say a lot about them, and understanding how your partner arrived at their current position, and what their future career goals may be, can give you a deeper insight into their interests and motivations. Ultimately, this can help you to understand your partner better. During an interview with
Business Insider, psychologist and Harvard lecturer Holly Parker, PhD, explained, "An awareness of your partner’s career goals gives you a glimpse of their dreams and aspirations, which can not only help you know your partner better, but also provide you with another gauge of your compatibility.” 5 How Do They Say "I Love You"?
How your partner expresses their love for you is something that you should know about them and about your relationship as a whole. A good place to start is with understanding how they show and receive affection according to their
love language. Does your partner bring you flowers on days that they know you will be stressed, anxious, or worked up? Does your partner kiss, hug, and touch you constantly? There’s more than one way to express your feelings, and these might be just some of the small, subtle ways that your partner shows their love, and how they like to receive it in return. 6 Do They Like Mustard Or Mayo?
This may seem like an almost trivial point, but when you know your partner’s little quirks and preferences (and they know yours), it just makes your time together easier. It also shows a level of intimacy that doesn’t usually exist with other people outside of maybe your parents, siblings, or your BFF. So, if your partner is in the bathroom and a server asks how they like their burger, do you know how to answer? Something this small can mean a lot in the long run.
7 How Do They Feel About Faith?
Do you know whether or not your partner has an active relationship with a particular faith? Ask if your partner identifies with a particular set of religious beliefs, whether they grew up with one, whether they found faith later on as an adult, and how strong their religious feelings are. This is especially important when you start to make long-term life plans like marriage and raising kids.
8 Do They Share Your Values?
Another important thing you need to know about your partner is their values, and whether or not those values match up with yours. This not only applies to religion, but also to things like family. Do you have shared goals and values, or do you have conflicting ideologies that may cause conflict down the line?
9 How Do They Feel About Their Relationship With Their Family?
Some people have close, tight-knit families, while others choose to build a family with their friends — and many of us are somewhere in between. Knowing this major detail about your partner is crucial to understanding everything from how you'll be spending the holidays to why your partner frequently
ignores calls from their mom. 10 What Does Their Perfect Day Look Like?
This is a fun little piece of trivia that may lead to some of your own special planning with your partner. Would your partner prefer to spend an entire day in their pajamas marathon-watching comedy specials, or would their ideal day be spent at an amusement park? Don't be afraid to share your perfect day with them, too, so that the two of you can try to make them happen someday.
11 What Is Your Partner Most Grateful For?
Do you know what your partner is most grateful for in this big world? Of course, you probably not-so-secretly hope it is you (and maybe it is), but knowing the answer to this very important question can actually improve your relationship.
According to a University of Georgia study,
being grateful in your relationship is a key component of a healthy marriage over time. So whether you and your partner are most grateful for each other, or if the relationship you share is just one of the many things on your gratitude list, it's important to recognize gratitude in your daily lives. 12 What Are Their Lifestyle Habits?
Some couples live happily ever after with perfectly mismatched habits. If one person wants to stay at home and watch Netflix all day and the other wants to go out all of the time, it can be helpful to figure this out early on. Learn how you and your partner match up on important issues like eating and exercise habits to help avoid conflict and deal with the inevitable question of “what’s for dinner?” every night. (Forever. Because dinner happens
every day.) 13 What Are Their Medical Needs & Wishes?
This is another important question that you should be able to answer about your partner in case of emergency. Although it can be a difficult topic to discuss — and likely not something that either of you wants to even think about happening — it is important to know what their wishes are if they ever end up in the hospital. If your partner is unable to communicate their own wishes at the time, you need to know what to say.
14 What Is Their Favorite Topic Of All Time?
One of the interesting or surprising things that you should know about your partner is what they can’t stop thinking about. For example, is your partner absolutely in love with SpaceX and everything that relates to space travel? Or is your partner slowly saving up money to visit all Seven Wonders of the World? Regardless of what quirky topic your partner is constantly thinking about, it's worth knowing. (Even if it’s only to gently poke a little fun at them. That's what a partner’s for, right?)
15 What Movie Do They Watch When They Are Sick? Nenad Stojnev /E+/Getty Images
At least one week a year, when my partner gets sick, he insists on watching HBO's 2001 miniseries
Band of Brothers. It's part of a routine that he has held for many years before I even knew him, and it's one that he continues to enjoy to this day. Knowing your partner's favorite movie or TV show is important — but it's even more important to your relationship to know which shows or movies actually make them tick, which make them cry, and which are their go-to cheering up flicks. 16 What Is Something They Would Like To Get Better At?
Everyone has something that they would like to improve upon, right? For me, I wish I was better at photography. For my partner, he wants to master German. For you or your partner, it might be learning to play the guitar or how to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie. Learning the answer to this question gives you the ability to support and encourage each other's goals.
17 If They Could Have A Superpower, What Would It Be?
This is definitely a fun and silly question, but everyone daydreams from time to time, right? Ask your partner what their secret superpower or ideal ability would be if they could just magically wake up that way one day. Do they secretly want to fly? Would they want to live inside of the world of
Harry Potter? Does your partner wish that they could wake up with the ability to speak with animals? Nothing is off the table with this question. 18 What Is Their Blood Type?
Another important piece of medical information you need to know about your partner is their blood type. It may not be the most romantic thing to ask about, but if they’re in an accident or end up in the hospital, knowing their blood type could help them receive the care that they need.
19 What Are They Truly Afraid Of?
This can include anything from the mundane and typical (like my personal, crippling fear of bees) to the more existential (like a deep-seated fear of failure that keeps one from ever finishing a passion project). In times of need and comfort, it's good for you to know your partner's fears and for them to know yours. After all, who else's shoulder can you cry on if all of a sudden your great fear rears its ugly head?
20 What Is Their Favorite Dessert?
Do you ever have a really hard day and just want someone to bring you your favorite Ben & Jerry's Mint Cookie Crisp ice cream? I feel you. One of the interesting things you should know about your partner is their dessert of choice. Whether it's a delectable crème brûlée that they simply must order any time it's on the menu, or their mom's famous homemade Rice Krispies treats, knowing what sweet treat your partner adores is a subtle indicator that you know them and their favorites.
21 What Is Their Most Treasured Memory?
One of the keys to lasting love is knowing your partner's most treasured memory. It could be that magical summer they spent away at camp growing up or going to a Cubs game during their historic 2016 season. It's great to share your treasured memories with your partner, too. This info can help shape and mold the important memories you both make together.
22 Do They Love Or Hate Their Birthday?
Some people celebrate their birthday all month long while others can’t stand being in the spotlight. If you're really lucky, your birthday styles match each other — like when
How I Met Your Mother's Lily loved her birthday and loved surprises, while her husband Marshall loved to arrange surprises for her birthday. Being a good match in your birthday styles is great, but it's also just as important to know how your partner wants to handle theirs (and respecting their wishes, of course). 23 What Would They Save If The House Was Burning Down?
If your house should ever accidentally catch on fire, do you know what your partner would try to save from the flames? Or, for that matter, what
you would save yourself? It might be a fairly scary and an unpleasant thing to think about, but it’s also an important potential scenario to consider that says a lot about what you value. 24 What Is Their Ideal Vacation?
Planning a vacation with your partner is really fun, but do you know what their actual dream getaway would be? Not only is it good information about the kind of trips your partner might be into, but it's also a fun way to dream together about where you might go next. Is it a city vacation in Buenos Aires that they're hoping to see, or relaxing in the warm, clear waters of Tahiti? Perhaps it's both and you can slowly start to save up for your dream trip.
25 What Is Their Go-To Karaoke Song?
One less serious but admittedly very fun fact that you should know about your partner is what their go-to karaoke song is. It sounds silly, but you never know when someone will break out the karaoke machine or suggest going to the karaoke bar down the street. When you’re out as a couple and having a good time, it's nice to know what song to sing along to when your sweetie takes the stage. And if you can choose a go-to song as a couple, even better.
This article was originally published on
July 18, 2017