Keeping a marriage fresh takes work. After being together for years, you might assume you know everything about your partner. But you’d be surprised when you can learn when you just throw out your typical banter for something exciting and new questions to spark conversation. These questions to ask your spouse are guaranteed to keep your marriage interesting and fun and potentially even make it stronger provided you really listen.
You can even make a daily game of it by asking one new question each or playing 20 questions with your partner. Whatever the case, ground rules are a good idea. Keep it light and upbeat and you could come away with a whole new outlook on your marriage and the person you’ve committed your life to.
Every game needs an icebreaker and these 16 silly questions to ask your spouse are it. Sometimes you just need to get a little goofy in your relationship and these questions are random enough to make your partner raise their eyebrows. But that’s the fun of the discussion, right?
- What are you thinking?
- What advice would you give your younger self?
- Have I told you lately that I love you?
- Guess how much I love you?
- What did you hate as a kid but love now?
- Can I be your girlfriend?
- Is there a memory of us that always makes you laugh?
- What is the best thing about our marriage?
- What was your favorite book as a kid?
- What movie title perfectly describes us?
- Do you remember our first kiss?
- What’s your favorite song from your teenage years?
- If we started a band, what would our name be?
- What song perfectly describes us?
- Other than our family, what’s your second favorite thing in this world?
- For real though, how many licks do you think it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the to do’s of life that we fail to check in with our partners and really see how they’re doing. But those deeper, more meaningful talks are the glue that keeps relationships together. So take the time to ask these 9 heartfelt questions for your spouse.
- Do you remember the first time we said “I love you”?
- How should we spend our golden years together?
- Which of our dates is your favorite?
- If we could get on a plane together right now, where would you want to go?
- How can I love you better?
- Is there a secret you’ve been hiding from me?
- Do you have a dream I can help you achieve?
- Did you know I check you out when you walk away?
Want to get to know your partner better? Remember, humans are always evolving, and the person you said “I do” to 20 years ago might be very different today. So find out who they are with these 13 questions to ask your spouse.
- What are your top three desert island records?
- Would you rather have more money or more time?
- If you could be a superhero, what would your power be?
- What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever done?
- If your life was a movie, who would you want to play you?
- What are you reading?
- What’s your biggest fear?
- If you could choose another profession, what would it be?
- What three people from the past would you invite to dinner if you could?
- Who do you consider your best friend and why?
- Do you have any big regrets?
- What does a perfect day look like to you?
- How can I make this week better for you?
Want to amp up the fire in your relationship? Sometimes the sexiest thing is to ask someone a question and then actually listen to their answer. Your presence is your present, so to speak. And to get the fires burning, here are some romantic questions to ask your spouse.
- What about our relationship makes you really happy?
- What’s one difference between us that you absolutely love?
- What’s one similarity between us that you absolutely love?
- What’s your favorite way to receive affection?
- Do you realize how much I adore you?
- What’s your favorite romantic movie?
- What music puts you in the mood?
- What’s your dream date?
- What’s one meal you’d like to have for a romantic night?
- What do you think is my favorite thing about you?
- Do you think we have fun together?
- What does romance mean to you?
- What does “great sex” mean to you?
- If we could live forever, would you choose to spend forever with me?
- Should we try to do something different on special occasions?
Of course it’s not all fun and games in a marriage, is it? Sometimes, you have to talk about the tough stuff. I can be hard to get those words out, but by using these 13 questions to ask your spouse, you can navigate the harder questions in a marriage and, with any luck, reach some results.
- Are you happy in our marriage?
- What are your end of life preferences?
- Who do you want to put in our will?
- How do you think we could be better parents?
- What’s my biggest failure as a partner?
- What are your financial priorities?
- What’s something you think our relationship is lacking?
- What do I mean to you?
- What’s your biggest fear for our relationship?
- What about me aside from physical appearance, made you fall in love?
- When’s a time when you felt vulnerable and how did you deal with it?
- When was the last time you cried? And why?
Questions about the Future
- What do you think our relationship will look like in five years?
- How do you think family and children will work into our future?
- How many children do you want, if any?
- Where would you want to settle down?
- What kinds of luxuries should we start saving for now?
- What could I work on to be a better partner long term?
- What are your bucket list travel destinations that we could go to in the near future?
- What is something new that we could try soon?
- Where do you see your career heading in the future?
- What would the ideal retirement look like for you?
- What are your financial goals and how do you prefer to save money?
- What is something we could improve about our lifestyle?
- Who are some people we can rely on if we ever have an emergency?
- How will we decide who takes on certain responsibilities?
- What will we do if a close relative gets sick and needs help?
- What are your goals for our relationship?
- What should we do for our 50th anniversary?
Are these the only questions to ask? Not even close. But this long list of questions to ask your spouse about the past, present, and future will get you a jump start on opening up the dialogue and getting to know each other better as you grow together.
This article was originally published on