With an estimated one out of two marriages ending in divorce, the chances are pretty high that you’re going to know someone who’s going through the dreaded D word right about now. But even if you want to be a totally supportive friend, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can always hop on a call and have them pour their heart out to you, either. That’s when a quick “thinking of you” text can show your pal that you’re wishing them well sans the time commitment (and tirade of tears and rage). If you’re not sure what to say, here’s what to text a friend who is ending a marriage.
“With divorce, as in any life transition, it is difficult to know what to say,” Wendy Sterling, a certified divorce specialist, tells Romper. “For those on the outside, they often want to offer support and comfort, yet have a lack of awareness of what you want to hear.” That’s why most people might mean well but make a mess of their words when thinking of what they should say. And even if you want to empathize with the other person’s emotions, it might be hard to if you haven’t gotten divorced, either. So you want to try finding a way to show support that doesn’t sound condescending (i.e. “My partner travels a lot for work, so I feel like a single parent myself”) or might make the person feel like they’re making a mistake (i.e. “Did you guys try to work it out?”).
So keep it short and sweet when it comes time to text a friend who is ending a marriage, and your message will be even more meaningful.
Checking In Texts
How are you doing today?
Feel like going out? Drinks on me.
Do you need me to do anything for you?
Want me to watch the kids while you ______?
Just checking in on you.
I was thinking about you.
Sending you strength and lots of love.
We will make it through this — together. I’m here to help you.
You are not alone.
I’m very sorry that things have ended between you two.
I know you’re going through a lot.
You have such strength; divorce isn’t easy.
I’m amazed at how well you’re handling it all.
If you want to vent, I’m here.
Been There, Done That Texts
Divorce sucks. I’m here if you need a friendly ear.
I know what you’re feeling. You’ll get through this.
This can be so painful. Remember that I’m available to talk about it when you feel ready.
Whenever you have any questions, I can try to help you.
You’re going to have good days, and you’re going to have bad days. I’m here for all of them.
Divorce sucks. You don’t.
Finally! We should celebrate!
Divorce. The end of an error.
Enjoy no longer having to pretend to like your in-laws.
And Here Are Some Things You Probably Shouldn’t Text
Here’s what you should do…
You’ll be fine.
You should try to work it out.
Your children might suffer because of your decision.
Can I give you some advice?
I never liked them anyway.
I told you this wouldn’t work out.
Let’s go out and find you someone new.
I knew you shouldn’t have ever married them.
Wendy Sterling, a certified divorce specialist