Am I the only one who has very distinct memories of high school calculus class? Or memories of high school in general? Actually, wait, scratch that. It’s actually just one very distinct memory: my classmates and I asking our teacher when we would ever actually need calculus. I suppose it’s a fair question, and while I can’t speak for anyone else from my graduating class, I can say without reservation that for me, that answer has been never. I mean, it’s possible that I could one day need to dive deep into the vault to, like, save mankind from certain doom or try to calculate when Justin Bieber’s going to release his next album (#sorrynotsorry for bringing it up; he is a creative genius). But so far? No so much with the whole "calculus will be relevant to your real life" argument.
However, now that I've had over a decade to think about it, I can see that our teacher’s response to these questions was pretty stellar. I don’t remember the entire thing verbatim, but basically what he said is that taking calculus in high school wasn’t necessarily about the likelihood of needing to apply it later in life so much as it was about challenging ourselves when presented with an opportunity to do so. Mic drop, Mr. McDougall. It’s one of the few lessons that I can still recall (albeit barely) from my days as a student. I honestly feel like there are so many things from high school that we should make an effort to remember more consciously in our adult lives. Here are just a few more that I think are worth repeating:
If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything At Al
Looking at you, Internet Trolls. Do we really need to know that you hate a certain celebrity's new haircut, and how trashy you think she is? (Wait, please don't answer that. I do want to know.)
Saying "No Offense" Is Kinda Pointless
No offense, but I can't recall a time in my life when "no offense" actually took away the sting of whatever offensive thing followed it, so perhaps check out the previous lesson.
Just Because You Read It In A Book Or Because An Adult Said It, That Doesn't Make It True
Once again, looking at you, Internet Trolls.
Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You
I know a few grown adults who might want to write this on a tiny slip of paper and keep it tucked in their wallet from now until the end of time, Denise.
All Lessons Revealed In The Sacred Text Of Girl Code
Yes, we all know that we're not supposed to date each other's exes, or wear white after Labor Day, and that we are supposed to tell our friend if she is on the verge or in the midst of a wardrobe malfunction. However, let's not forget all the other thousands of rules that have been passed down for centuries that are too secretive and private to publish here.
Respect Your Elders
I mean, my partner is roughly 9 months older than I am, and I don't even stand when he enters a room. I know, what's wrong with me? I should probably brush up on a few of these.
Keep Your Hands To Yourself
What can I say? I like to snuggle (when I've been given explicit permission from the cuddlee, of course).
The Contents Of All Important Food Groups, And How Much To Eat From Each Of Them Daily
My attempts at balanced meals are often laughable. Not sure about you guys, but I really have no where to go but up on this one. Do raisin oatmeal cookies count for anything good?
Make Sure No One Is Left Out
Unless we're talking about those Internet Trolls again, then we might have to make exceptions.
This is a tricky one, especially because finding the time to thoroughly read instructions is hard these days. Wait, do YouTube videos count? They weren't around when I was in school but something tells me they just might help...