I’m not sure about you guys, but many of my school years were spent wishing I was an adult. Adulthood seemed to be so full of freedom, of being able to listen to the music of my choice at the volume of my choosing, I couldn’t wait to experience it. And though I don't have a lot to complain about when it comes to my childhood (except the fact that I never did get to meet a single member of New Kids On The Block), being an adult always seemed so appealing.
Flash forward a couple decades and I’ll admit, adulthood is pretty sweet. I mean, it’s super hard too, don’t get me wrong (hello, responsibilities), but I can at least drink coffee whenever I want, wear whatever I want, and indeed play my music at a volume of my choosing (as long as my son isn’t sleeping...or my husband isn’t trying to work...or I’m not driving through a residential area at night, because I’m not a total jerk). However, I’ve noticed that there is one part of adulthood that doesn’t quite come with the same level of maturity as the rest: work. Allow me to explain:
We Have The Ability To Play Office Pranks
OK, I’ve been the prankee more often than I’ve peen the prankster, but still. The offices I’ve worked in are much more forgiving with pranking than any school environment I’ve been a part of.
Gossip Is Higher Stakes
I mean, in high school, who my friends were dating certainly felt like crucial information but now? Not so much, when you can compare that to who's up for a promotion, who's in trouble with the boss, and who *gasp* is pregnant. But the thrill of knowing juicy gossip — or the unbearable pain of not knowing — feels exactly the same as it did in high school.
We Can Watch Adult TV, So We Find Excuses To Talk About It
Fact: Adults at work waste infinitely more time talking about useless stuff than high schoolers do.
We Don’t Have The Threat Of Detention
Although I suppose HR offices count. But generally, we have way fewer people policing our every move, which means we're free to make some hella childish moves.
We Can Leave Our Desks Without Requiring Hall Passes
Work for 5 minutes...and go pee. Work for 5 more minutes...go grab coffee from the kitchen. Work for 10 minutes...reward self with 20 minutes of talking about The Bachelor on Gchat with work BFF.
We Don’t Have Recess Or Other Built-In Ways To Blow off Steam
I mean, I usually reach peak distraction level around 2 p.m., which was conveniently right around when school used to get out. Coincidence? I think not. As an adult, I have to work way beyond that threshold, which basically makes me act like a distracted, tired child most of the time.
We’re Super Caffeinated And Loopy
In my school-age years, my friends and I had a propensity for Jolt Cola and Pixie Sticks (I know, my stomach hurts just thinking about it now). But,those substances have nothing on a double Americano, especially when it's on an empty stomach which it way too often is.