In my experience, pregnancy sucks. I mean, it's pretty badass to grow a human in your body, but it's seriously hard. From vomiting, constipation, insomnia, and pain, to receiving comments about my body from strangers, I hated pregnancy. Pretty much the best parts about my pregnancies were getting a baby at the end and not having a period for a few months. Unfortunately, when Aunt Flo comes back for her first postpartum visit, there are things I didn't expect; things I wish I knew about my postpartum period before it actually happened.
Couldn't someone have warned me? Or at least told me that even after having three babies, my first postpartum period would be different each and every time? The only things they all had in common were not knowing when they would happen, how heavy they would be, or how long they would last. They also seriously bummed me out. At first, I thought, "Oh, you again. It's been a long time since your last visit. I'd almost forgotten what you were like. Oh yeah, now I remember. FML." Then it's usually followed by something along the lines of, "Those were my favorite sheets. It's bad enough to have spit up and baby poop everywhere, did you need to add menstrual blood to the mix? Seriously." And, finally, "Why won't you end? You have overstayed your welcome. Be gone."
Somehow, talking to my body never makes it do what I want it to. Sigh. Here are just a few surprises the Aunt Flo brought with her on her first postpartum visit, because act of bringing another human being into this world is so fun and easy.