Not everyone experiences the magical pregnancy moment known as "nesting," but for those of us who do, it is both amazing and really, really weird. All of a sudden, after weeks (or months) of feeling uncomfortable and having little-to-no energy (because making a human is hard work), you get this burst of energy and an inexplicable drive to make everything in your home and life perfect. This usually includes more than a few really random projects that seem odd and unnecessary to everyone but you, so naturally, it’s really easy for other people to unintentionally annoy or anger a pregnant woman who’s nesting.
I felt really focused on perfecting our new house for most of my pregnancy, but didn't really have much energy to devote to it until about three or so weeks before I gave birth to my son. I remember waking up one morning, and in addition to feeling horribly behind on decorating his nursery (still a work in progress, honestly), I was also obsessed with sweeping, mopping, and polishing our floors and stairs. My house is a four-story row home, so it took me most of the day to accomplish my new goals. When my partner saw me practically wheezing by the time I made it to the bottom floor, he asked me if it was possible to leave it for a little while and come back to it the next day.
I glared at him, then started sobbing. “What? I can't just leave it! What if our son is born early and our floors look like this? He's going to think we don't love him!” My partner just smiled gently and backed out of the room. Honestly, it was the only adequate response. So, if you’re a pregnant mama currently in the throes of nesting, congratulations on being awesome and Pinning your pregnant face off. Send this to everyone else in your life so they can understand how not to step on your cleaning, organizing, getting-stuff-done mojo.
By Questioning Her Random Nesting Urges
Nesting urges are like the cleaning and organization equivalent of food cravings. All of a sudden the house is craving order and very specific tasks to achieve it. If it occurs to her that it needs to be done, it needs to be done. Just like she really needs pancakes right now.
By Undoing Her Hard Work
A few days after my floor experience, it snowed and everyone had salty slush on the soles of their shoes. My floors are a very deep, almost black brown; a shade that shows those grey-white salt stains the most. I basically banned people from walking in the house for the next few days, because nope. Not gonna mess up these floors after I spent all that time making them perfect. Thou shalt not mess up a nesting mama's efforts.
By Leaving Little Things Everywhere
This is partially under the umbrella of undoing her hard work, but it’s a particularly annoying variant that stands alone. She’s working so hard to put everything in its own special place, and here you come, leaving spare change here or unopened mail there? Nope, nope, nope.
By Messing Up The New Baby Clothes System
Another annoying variant of “undoing her hard work” that stands alone. Every time a nesting mom realizes how wildly each baby clothing company differs in its sizing, she has to find a new way to organize the baby clothes. If she doesn’t, how will she know where to find each outfit the new baby will poop through or refuse to wear?
By Questioning The Way She's Arranged The Nursery (And House)
This is the way that makes the most sense, clearly. Until tomorrow, when she and only she discovers a new alternative.
By Not Sharing Her Sense Of Urgency
Umm, yes, this does need to happen right now. This is the most energy she's had in months, and the dust bunnies that everyone has let slide due to fatigue (or to make time to be her 24/7 craving delivery service) have since become big-ass dust jackrabbits.
By Telling Her To Relax
How is she supposed to relax? Have you seen this place? Do you realize the baby could be here any minute? Do you understand how hard it is to relax when another human is taking up the entire middle of your body?
By Offering To Help And Doing It Wrong
She has a vision, people. There is a certain way this stuff needs to get done, and you’re just not getting it. Please, just put down the sponge and walk away. Oh, and get some snacks while you’re at it, because the kitchen is probably low on all her favorite stuff.
By Not Properly Worshipping Her Domestic Prowess
Can you see how much better everything looks and feels in the house? It’s like Martha Stewart walked in here and made this home her own personal Pinterest board. Bow down, y’all. However painfully effusive you are being with your praise, double it. You’re almost there.
By Daring To Suggest That None Of This Is Necessary To Give Birth
Yeah, no. She absolutely does need a deep freezer full of meals, and a spotless house in order to have this baby. Unless, of course, you’re volunteering to pay her take-out bills and clean up for the next year while she figures her life out with this new human? Yeah, didn’t think so.