From movies, TV shows, and the handful of pregnant ladies I’d known before getting pregnant myself, I knew about the quintessential pregnancy symptoms. I didn't, however, know pregnant women had especially vivid dreams. Apparently this is very much a thing, but if ever there were a set of dreams I'd never want to come true, it would be these. So many things that happen in my weird pregnancy dreams I’d like to forget forever, but I can't. So all that's left is to laugh, I suppose.
In hindsight, it makes some sense that during such an exciting, nerve-wracking time, my dreams would reflect all that excitement, anxiety, and hormone-driven randomness. But it seems like something of a design flaw, to fill what little sleep I was able to get between fetal kung fu practice and constant trips to the bathroom with all the most bizarre things my brain could conjure up. And I could definitely have done without the crystal clear images of the many creative ways Dream Me found to put my yet-to-be born baby in danger. I know I enjoyed reading my online mom friends’ weird dreams when I polled them about it, so here are some of my (least) favorites, for your amusement.