True story: I am someone who once thought feminism had outlived its usefulness after, like, 1969; I declared, "Can't we all just be humanists?!" I thought feminism was completely unnecessary. Women's Studies, all-girls schools, and all-women's colleges? "Only making things worse, and things really aren't bad enough to justify those things anymore." I know. I know, guys. But I was a freshman in high school. And considering I've written countless articles at this point on feminist parenting and motherhood, I think it's safe to definitively declare that I've seen the light and changed my ways. Now, as a mother, it's all well and good to be a feminist in order to raise feminist kids. But if you're parenting with a partner, it's pretty essential to get them on board, too.
You can go on about encouraging your son to play with dolls if he likes it and give your daughter STEM-based gifts, and go on about the wage gap and unfair dress codes...but if you have a partner who undermines that, you're not going to get too far. At least, not nearly as far as you could if you were both on the same page. So whether your partner calls himself a feminist or not, you're going to have lots of conversations about...feministy things...in order to promote equality under your roof.
Note: I am a woman married to a man. So, for the purposes of this article (and in order not to speak to a relationship/parenting model I know nothing about), that is the perspective I'm writing from. I am very grateful that my particular man is a self-identified feminist. For the most part, our conversations aren't so different from those of most other parents, but some of them might veer into the "feminist specific."