Fighting with your partner is bound to happen in a relationship, no matter how compatible the two of you are. Your opinions will differ, you'll find yourself heated for no reason at all, and you'll pick a fight over absolutely nothing. It's normal, but at some point you have to realize that there are fights that are completely unsolvable in a relationship, no matter how passionate you are.
A relationship doesn't work unless there's compromise — bottom line. But sometimes, an argument has no way of reaching that settlement. Whether it's one that really ignites your partner's emotions or one that you're lackluster about, despite their perseverance to argue, there are some fights that are going to come to a stalemate. And, for the most part, this is OK. But the problem begins when the fights that are completely unsolvable become more and more popular. At that point? You're picking a fight just for the sake of picking a fight.
It's like that old adage about choosing your own battles. You have to choose the arguments that are actually beneficial to your relationship because yes, some fights are good for the two of you. Some fights bring light to areas of your relationship that were troubling and some can reinforce the love you have for each other by clearing the air — like how a brushfire brings regrowth. But if you find yourself engaging in any of these 11 arguments, know that they are completely pointless because there's no way to solve them. You're basically arguing just to argue, and that's going to sink your relationship faster than any act of infidelity could.
1. The One About The Temperature
Your SO is freezing, but you're burning up and now there's a war over the thermostat. Look, it can't be resolved. Either way, one of you is going to be pissed. So leave it at a neutral degree and one of you is either going to have to thrown on layers or take some off.
2. The One About Their Family
There's no way to end this argument in a healthy way. Picking a fight about your partner's parents, siblings, or other family members is just asking for one that will never end. Remember, they can say whatever they want about their family, but there's a line even you can't cross.
3. The One Where They Check Someone Out
You saw them do a double take and check out someone while the two of you were out, and now you're pissed. Fine, but starting a fight over it? Totally pointless. How are you supposed to solve that argument?
4. The One About Cheating
If you and your SO are fighting over this, there's just not going to be an end. The two of you should agree on what constitutes as cheating before someone gets seriously hurt in the process.
5. The One About Kids
Compromising on having a child? Eh. I don't buy it. I think if your partner is desperate for a baby, and you don't want one, this is an argument that will never end. You can't persuade someone who doesn't want a baby to have one, and if you can? Then the relationship's probably not going to last long anyway. That's how resentment builds.
6. The One About The Past
I believe it was the great Rafiki in The Lion King that muttered "It doesn't matter! It's in the past!" Although that advice doesn't always work (because some things in the past definitely do still matter), it is pretty wise in a relationship. No matter what your partner has done in the past, you either have to get over it or let the relationship go. You can't constantly bring it up and rehash the same argument — time travel, unfortunately, is not possible. There's nothing your SO can do about their past.
7. The One About Your Partner's Personality
This is your partner. This is who they are. They aren't going to change, and they shouldn't have to. If you're hoping that arguing over your partner's lack of emotions will make them become Nicholas Sparks, you're going to find yourself fighting with a brick wall.
8. The One About Your Partner's Interests
I don't mean interests that negatively affect you or your relationship, but the ones you just don't like. Your SO loves football — no arguing from you is going to change that. When you keep fighting with them about how much you hate that they love football, you're just making yourself sound totally controlling and silly. How can anyone solve a fight like that?
9. The One About Who Sacrifices The Most
If you want to have a healthy discussion about how the duties of the life you two share are unfairly balanced, go for it. But there's no way to finish up an argument about which one of you sacrifices the most. You both make sacrifices for your relationship and your family, and both of you feel that you're doing the best you can.
10. The One About Taking Out The Trash
Is it the person who noticed it was full? The person who put an empty cereal box on top of the closed lid? Or do you take turns and alternate the duty? This is an argument that can't be won — just take out the d*mn trash.
11. The One Where You Tell Each Other What You Dislike
You know the one. The one that's not even really a fight at all. You get angry about something, and the next thing you know? You're calling your partner every name in the book and shouting out all of their faults. All of that built-up tension and stress has accumulated into one big, regrettable, unsolvable fight. If your partner retaliates, it's just a giant argument over nothing, except it leaves a trail of hurt feelings and anger in its wake.