Life
Gross moments and babies are two things that simply go hand-in-hand. Even before they're born, babies provide plenty of "gross" moments, up to and including: pregnancy farts, constipation, nausea, mucus plugs, and, well, you get the idea. Child birth can be intense, newborn spit-ups can be epic and baby diapers are like epic poop pileups. But you know what’s not nearly discussed enough? The gross stuff you endure when feeding your kid. Breastfeeding provides plenty of not-so-glamorous moments, but if you chose to or weren't able to breastfeed, have no fear: there are plenty of gross moments every formula feeding mom experiences, too. Literally, no one is safe, you guys. No one.
Whether it's preparing bottles in the middle of the night or cleaning bottles in the middle of the day or scraping the bottom of the formula container to get every last ounce (because that stuff is expensive) and subsequently getting formula all over your hands; formula feeding isn't a clean and easy experience. More often than not, you're not going to walk away without a stain here or a mess there. Of course, the same could be said about almost any other aspect of parenting so, really, formula feeding just prepares you for the future messes you're sure to experience.
So, with that in mind, here are 11 gross moments every formula feeding mom has definitely experienced, probably more than once. What is that ridiculously over-used saying used to make us mothers feel better? Oh yeah, "Excuse the mess, my kids are making memories." Yeah, we'll just go with that.
The First Time You Smell An Old Bottle Of Formula
I don’t know why I would bring such a terrible thing up to my nose, but I have. And trust me, it was not good.
Having To Wash Said Leftover Bottle (Hello, Chunks!)
Even if you had the good sense not to smell the bottle while it was still closed up, once you have to open it and deal with those leftover contents, you will not be a happy camper. It's honestly much worse than sour milk. It's sour milk plus evil and no one likes evil. And then having to scrub the hell out of it? Yuck, yuck, yuck.
When You Discover A Bottle Has Tipped Over And Leaked All Over Your Kid’s (Library) Books
Nothing is sadder than a baby board book whose pages have stuck together thanks to the superglue that is dried formula. There’s just no way to save your book from that catastrophe.
Finding An Old Bottle Under Your Seat In The Car Weeks Later
Sometimes, you’ll notice a distinct smell in the air. Other times, you’ll just happen upon it by surprise. Either way, once that formula has separated in the bottle, you’ll wonder why it is you feed it to your kid again (oh yeah, cause it keeps them alive. Well then, carry on).
When A Bottle Spills In Your Diaper Bag And You Don’t Realize It Soon Enough
I know a lot of these have to do with the smell, but jeez they don’t exactly make formula smell like cake. For some reason, the smell becomes way more potent once it’s set into the fabric of a diaper bag. My suggestion? Chuck it and get a new one.
Wondering Why Your Baby Doesn’t Like Their New Formula, Then Tasting It And Wanting To Die
We had to go through a couple different formulas for my son and, at one point, he was recommended a certain brand that was more bitter than a kale and coffee smoothie.
The First Time Your Kid Spits Up Formula
I’m not sure why, but when a baby spits up formula it’s usually grosser and chunkier than when they spit up breast milk. Definitely an unpleasant side effect, but that ole “formula cheese” is no joke and unfortunately it seems that, especially when you haven’t quite found the right formula for your kiddo, they end up spitting up more frequently. Not fun for anyone.
When You Accidentally Give Your Baby A Bottle Of Old Formula You Swore You’d Just Set Out
We’ve all done this (not on purpose, of course). I mean, keep a parent or two sleep deprived long enough, and they’re sure to accidentally pick up some bottle their kid didn’t finish last night and stick it in their baby’s mouth the next day. Then you have the horrified realization that it was actually a bottle from hours, possibly even days ago, that you never got around to washing. You rush to Dr. Google and ask what might happen to your 6 month old now that they’ve happily and cluelessly ingested this stale bit of of formula, and realize it’s a common mistake that everyone has committed at some point or other. Then all you can do is wait and see if they end up puking or getting diarrhea. My experience? He was totally fine. Just uh, don’t get into the habit of doing this on purpose because that’s probably not a good idea.
When You Notice Your Baby’s Poop Just Got Smellier
Seriously, what’s up with that? It also occasionally changes consistency (gets harder and/or darker). Of course, this isn’t the case for every baby, but it’s still not a pleasant turn of events if their bowel movements do suddenly change.
When You First Find Out Your Baby’s Formula Is Full Of Corn Syrup Solids And Other Bizarre Things
I remember feeling confused and grossed out when I found out one of the main ingredients in my son’s formula was corn syrup solids. It didn’t make any sense to me, especially with all these years of reading articles about why you should never eat high fructose corn syrup. Now, my son is a very healthy two year old and does not appear to have experienced any negatives due to our choice in formula. Sadly, there is no perfect equivalent to breastmilk (yet) so as moms, we simply have to do the best we can to provide the best formula we can for our kids. You’ll find plenty of blogs and articles swearing "this" or "that" is the perfect formula, but at the end of the day, give your child what works for them. Not everyone can afford to spend double or triple the cost of standard formula to buy wholly organic formulas, especially mothers on WIC who are only able to give their babies what the government provides (and thanks to exclusivity contracts, that’s often only one or two specific brands). I guess what I’m saying is, don’t beat yourself up about this. Your baby will still be okay.
And Finally, When You Realize Just How Much You’ll Spend On Formula In A Week...Month...Year!
Okay, maybe this isn’t gross in the traditional sense, but it damn well should be. Yes, I recognize that formula is vital to the lives of many, many babies, but the way these cans and especially these pre-mixed bottles are priced does kind of make me want to puke. SO much money. That ain’t right.
