Life
Postpartum sex is somewhat of a milestone for most new moms. If you follow doctor's orders, you've waited six (or more) weeks before engaging in sexual activity. Couple that necessary waiting period with sleep-deprivation, adjusting to parenthood and re-learning your postpartum body and, well, sex is a big deal. So, it's no surprising that when postpartum sex happens, you need to talk (read: brag) about it. Enter the text messages every mom sends her BFF after having postpartum sex, because this is 2016 and no one uses their cellphones to actually make phone calls anymore.
Honestly, the first time after I had sex after having a baby, I didn't necessarily feel a pressing need to tell anyone about it. I guess I'm just not the kind of girl to "kiss and tell." However, I was also extremely excited to finally feel like myself and feel intimate with my partner, (and my friends knew about my sex life anyway, because who needs secrets?), so it really wasn't a big deal for me to share this new "mom milestone" with others. So, I grabbed my phone and made sure the first person to hear about the postpartum sex I just had, was my best friend. In fact, I believe I bombarded her with comments about it in a very short span of time and before she could really respond to any of them. After all, what are friends for, right?
Sex is not the only important part of a romantic relationship and it is not the defining factor of love or commitment, so there isn't a new mom in the world (or any woman, for that matter) that should feel obligated to have sex or get back in the sack when she's not ready or feeling comfortable. Of course, postpartum sex is going to be different for every woman, too. So, in no way are the following text messages indicitive of how your personal experience will be. Some women love postpartum sex. Some women don't. So, with that in mind, here are some of the texts I happily sent my BFF after I had postpartum sex, and while I know not every woman will feel the way I did about postpartum sex, I'd like to think I'm not alone.
When You're Just The Most Excited
You've been waiting a while. The anticipation has built up and was overflowing before you did the deed. Now, your BFF will know everything, whether they want to or not. (But, let's face it: they're your bestie so they'll want the details.)
When You're Celebrating
Maybe you waited until you were cleared by your doctor or midwife to have postpartum sex. Maybe, even after you were physically cleared for intercourse, you weren't feeling like it and waited even longer to have sex. Either way, chances are there was a waiting period involved, and when that waiting period ended a celebration was in order.
When You're Just Bragging
You may have already said this to your partner and you may have already been thinking this the whole time, but really, it's all you can think to say now. Wow.
When You Compare It To The Past
You may still be in awe and are having difficulty finding your words but you know one thing for sure: nothing has felt this good. Not in a very long time at least.
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation heightening your senses. Maybe it's because it has been a while, and you simply forgot what sex even felt like. Either way, now is not a time to ask questions. Now is a time to bask in that post-sex glow. It's the best.
When You Are In Awe Of Your Own Abilities
You know you haven't had sex since you gave birth (and maybe even longer, because postpartum life is strange) but you really don't know how you did it. Either way, impressive.
When You Realize It's Been A While
For a while there, you were kind of just going through the motions of day to day life. There was so much to do before the baby came and after the baby came that you didn't even have time to realize you weren't having sex.
When You Attempt To Explain It
You haven't done it in so long you almost forgot what it felt like. For that reason (and many others, including a possible physical change and/or change in sensation) it was like losing your virginity all over again. Actually, it was: you've lost your postpartum virginity. Congratulations!
When You're Just The Most Excited. Again.
I'm hoping that every woman's postpartum experience is a pleasant one, because what's the point of having sex if you're in pain? Still, I know that the first time you have postpartum sex might not be all that great and, if it isn't, it's obviously OK to not want to do it right away because, you know, consent and stuff.
However, if it was awesome, you'll probably be looking forward to the next time. And the next time. And the next time.
When You Realized Something's Changed
You easily could have just both wanted it really badly, but maybe your time apart has made you both a little more exploratory and even better at all that sex stuff. Either way, the time you've spent not having sex has made the sex better, and that's pretty awesome.
When You Realize You Were Worried For No Reason
Again, everyone's experience is different. I know plenty of women who found postpartum sex to be painful, and for a while. I know other women who didn't find it to be very painful at all. Here's hoping you fall in the latter category, but don't think there's anything wrong with you (or your postpartum body) if postpartum sex didn't feel all that grand the first few times.
When You Start Feeling Sore
Your body has been through a lot. That's really all there is to it.
It's been said before and it's worth repeating again: postpartum sex will be different for everyone, so everyone needs to treat it personally and make up their own "timeline," if you will. If you're not feeling sexy, you don't want to engage in sexual activity or you're simply too tired: don't. If, on the other hand, you're ready to go and you have a consenting partner ready to do the same, have at it. Just be kind to your body, my friends. It's been through a lot and it has done some truly amazing things.
