11 Things Every Mom Thinks At A Baby Shower, But Doesn't Say Out Loud

Ad failed to load

If you were overwhelmed by baby shower feels before you had a kid of your own, you haven't seen anything. Going to a baby shower once you're a mom can be like navigating a field of invisible emotional triggers you didn't even know existed. In fact, it's not unlike keeping up with the ongoing relationship dynamics between the Kardashians and Kanye West and Taylor Swift. You will be intrigued; You will be confused; You will be humbled; You'll wonder why you're feeling so many feels in the first damn place. You'll kind of want to pretend it's not happening at all.

Will you miss your own baby, who you left at home before you wanted to let him nap but now you totally wish you brought because you can picture him in all the footie pajamas the guest of honor keeps opening? Yes. Yes to all of the above.

For the most part, I enjoy baby showers although I can totally understand why some people (mom or not) have mixed feelings about them. They can, at times, feel forced and dated and awkward. However, usually, if I’m attending one it’s because I have some fondness for the mom-to-be and want to show her some support during this glorious and intense time in her life. Still, that need to be supportive doesn't trump my own personal, often internal feelings. Allow me to share a bit more about what goes through a mom’s mind at another mom’s baby shower:

Ad failed to load

“I Got That At My Shower, Too”


Every familiar gift that's opened is like a testament to my friends' and family's awesome ability to pick out useful and/or effectively marketed baby products. Which, as we all know, is a skill to be proud of.

“I Wish I Had Gotten That At My Shower”


I mean, I made it through my son's early months without the help of one of those pillows designed to help him sit up comfortably and safely, so I thought I was doing all right. However, according to the mom next to me, my life is meaningless now.

“You Won’t Need That. Like, At All.”


I mean, if I can make it through my son's baby months with nary a footrest in the entire nursery, I bet you can too.

Ad failed to load

“Ugh, That’s Adorable”


Hats with animal ears on them, you guys. They get me every time. I turn into a complete puddle and am unable to function in the presence of one.

“Just You Wait, My Friend. Just You Wait.”


I don't mean for this to sound completely ominous, but more like half-ominous, half wonderful. Or even like one third/two thirds (I'll let you guess which is which). Hey, if that's not parenthood, I don't know what is.

“Maybe I Should Have Another Baby”


I'll admit, being in proximity to that many stuffed ducks and swaddle blankets does make one start thinking thoughts; complicated, layered thoughts about pregnancy and and cribs and placentas. Please stop looking at me like that.

Ad failed to load

“This Dip Is Delicious”


Starting today and forevermore, if a baby shower is not serving dip of some kind I would like to be notified in advance. That's the kind of information that should just go on the invite, you guys.

"Why Didn't She Just Ask Me What To Register For?"


What's the point of knowing women who became a mom before you did, if you don't look over their baby registry like an online review? I need to know everything she knows.

"I Should Have Brought My Baby"


For complicated reasons that only made sense twenty minutes before the shower was supposed to begin, I didn't bring him. I regret everything.

Ad failed to load

"How Many Copies Of One Particular Book Does One Family Need?"


Not that many, I can promise you. Even if it does tell your kid to go the f*ck to sleep.

"I Am Not Going To Play Any Games Involving The Contents Of Diapers"


I will play all the games in the world that simply involve writing things on a piece of paper. Those are my kind of games. However, when the diapers start coming out? Nope.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills