11 Things You Should Talk To Your Partner About Before Having Postpartum Sex
Remember those steamy nights when you and your SO ripped off your clothes and got busy in the middle of the living room? Sure you do. In fact, that's probably how you ended up with a new baby. And now that the baby's here, you're going to go right back to all that X-rated business, right? Well, maybe not as soon as you think. Having a baby changes more than just your sleeping schedule, that little bundle can influence your sex life as well. There are things you should talk to your partner about before having postpartum sex that will help prepare both of you for this transitional time.
The chaos of pregnancy doesn't end after you get that baby out of your belly. Many odds thing can pop up in your post-delivery life as well. Body changes, as well as emotional and hormonal fluctuations, can cause you to feel less like yourself than ever before. In turn, these challenges can cause shifts in different areas of your life — even in something as constant as your sex life. But being aware and having honest conversations with your partner will help make this phase easier to overcome. Use these 11 points to start talking with your honey today before you start having postpartum sex.
1. Your Expectations
Before hopping back in the sack, you need to be clear about what you expect, and discuss those expectations with your partner. If you want to take it slow, not use penetration yet, or try positions that might be more comfortable for you, make these things known before getting down to business. This sets the tone and allows you to monitor how far your body is ready to go.
2. Concerns About Pain
It's not uncommon for women who've had a vaginal delivery to be concerned about her lady business hurting during a post-delivery romp — especially if you had an episiotomy, tearing, or stitches, as Baby Center pointed out. Being concerned about pain during sex is something you need to discuss with your partner before diving back in, so they know to be gentle and ask you what feels best along the way.
3. Potential Surprises
Your body's been through a lot of changes since the moment you conceived, at more bodily surprises can pop-up after childbirth as well. As Today's Parent pointed out, breastmilk can leak during sex, which may come as a shock in the heat of the moment. Although it doesn't happen in every breastfeeding mother, discussing the possibility will help with any potential awkwardness.
4. The Timing
Typically, most postpartum women are cleared to resume sex after the six week mark, but that isn't the magic number for everyone. Due to lack or sleep and hormonal changes, you just may not be in the mood yet, as What To Expect's website explained.
5. Your Trouble Concentrating
It's no surprise that having a baby takes up a gigantic piece of mental real estate. So when it's time to shift gears and get into your sexy mood, you may feel a little distracted. Listening for the baby and worrying if she's OK will take you out of a lusty moment, so let your partner know up front that it's nothing personal. In time, you'll be able to let go more and enjoy your adult time.
6. Use Of Lube
Guess what moms, all those hormones do some damage on your natural lubrication. According to Babble, vaginal dryness is very common in postpartum women, especially those who are breastfeeding. But there's no shame in the lube game during this time (or any other, for that matter), just let your partner know about this new step in your boot knockin' routine.
7. Things May Feel Different
What turned you on before may be different now. For example, if you're breastfeeding, you may have the urge to keep your breasts off limits during sex. You may not feel this way forever, but it's important to let your partner know how you're feeling before hopping between the sheets.
8. There Could Be Blood
This is a possibility your partner should definitely be made aware of. Postpartum bleeding, called lochia, can last different lengths of time, depending on the person, according to the website Pregnancy and Baby. Intercourse could trigger contractions which could cause more lochia to be released.
9. Feeling Touched Out
According to Parents magazine, snuggling, holding, and nursing a baby all day can leave a mama feeling touched out, meaning the last thing she wants is more hand on her body after the baby is asleep. Talking about these feelings and exploring other ways to be intimate may be best until you start feeling like more human contact.
10. Birth Control
As Baby Center pointed out, even though it may take some time before you start having a regular period again, your body starts ovulating after your delivery — many times without you even realizing. Talk with your partner about what type of birth control you will use during this interim time.
11. Your Emotions
With so many changes happening at once, it's likely to feel the whole continuum of emotions in just one day. Explain to your partner that if your feelings about sex change often, it has nothing to do with them. Having the support of your partner during this time will allow you to get through it as a team and bring you closer (which will probably lead to better sex).