My kids are staunch defenders of justice and when it isn't incredibly inspiring and a source of great pride, it's the absolute worst. While I want my kids to be honest and to do the "right thing," my kids' annoying honesty often blows my lies and, well, I can't have that. As a parent, I have to protect myself from their probing curiosity (“What’s that string hanging between your legs?”) and inconsiderate interrogation (“Why is your stomach so squishy but Dad’s isn’t?”) so, yes, that means I lie to my children.
It can be super cute to catch kids lying, but mine are still too young to get why complete transparency isn’t necessarily desirable. It’s a hard lesson to teach, especially we’ve spent years coaxing them to tell the truth. “Honesty is the best policy,” if often regurgitated ad nauseam. I guess I should be proud that they’ve stuck to that credo, but there are times when this practice has completely backfired (for me). Here are some occasions when my little truth police have totally blown the cover of my lies. Thanks a lot, kids.