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Potty training is a rite of passage that every parent must go through sooner or later. At some point, even those parents who are petrified of poop will be cleaning it off of their bathroom floor when their preschooler doesn't make it up onto the toilet in time. It happens to the best of us, you guys. And when the sh*t hits the floor, you may in fact be tempted to lose yours, even if you typically subscribe to a more peaceful parenting practice. But, by utilizing positive parenting techniques for potty training, you're probably more likely to keep your cool when it comes to surviving the ups and downs (lots of downs) of potty training.
"In general, setting the tone of positive parenting can keep the household more playful and supportive and less fraught. With fewer battles, everything works better for the whole family. Giving your child a sense that they are competent and supported in their lives has an impact on potty training even though it seems unrelated," says Dr. Aliza Pressman, Developmental Psychologist and co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center.
Experts have touted positive parenting techniques for everything from quelling sibling rivalry to making meal times more enjoyable, and potty training is no exception. These 12 positive parenting techniques for potty training will help you and your child both survive this dreaded developmental stage with way less trepidation and uncertainty.
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Practice Patience
"With anything related to staying patient with a young child, remind yourself that they are so new in this world and learning so much every day. This won’t keep you from losing it, but being aware and reminding yourself can give you some distance before you lose your patience" says Dr. Pressman. "And finally, if you find you are having power struggles over potty training, abort the mission for two weeks and don’t invest any energy or emotions or conversations about it. Give your child space to stop fighting back and to feel a sense of agency. Then, circle back after there has been some time away and try again."
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Let Them Watch You
"Don’t be afraid to let your child join you in the bathroom. Social modeling is a powerful tool in helping children learn, so let them see how it’s done by watching you," Dr. O'Connell Liggett tells Romper.
This one might be a little out there for some people, but I can speak from experience when I say that it really does work. Watching older siblings is also a great way to encourage your little ones to take the step to use the potty on their own.
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Create A Routine
"Establish a consistent routine of going to the bathroom during the day, even if your child does not successfully go," says Dr. O'Connell Liggett. "Before going to bed at night or for a nap, waking from sleep, shortly after meals, and before car travel are all good times to practice. Establishing the routine helps your child establish self-regulation and makes the routine a priority in their day."
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Keep Your Pediatrician In The Loop
It is also imperative to receive support from your pediatrician if your child is struggling with potty training. Dr. Pressman is representing Mount Sinai’s parenting center at Aspen where Dr. Carrie Quinn, the executive director and founder of Mount Sinai’s Parenting center, will be doing a panel on Reinventing the Pediatrician Visit in order to spark brain-building interactions, promote executive function, and strengthen parent/child relationships, something that is needed when parents need guidance on how to utilize positive parenting techniques with developmental issues like potty training.
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Find Support
In addition to having the support of your pediatrician, keeping friends and loved ones in the loop while you're working to achieve the goal of potty training can help keep you in a positive head-space.
"I always suggest having a support system in place before you start potty training" says potty training consultant Allison Jandu. "Make sure you have your spouse, or family member, or friend available to back you up, and fill them in on your plans before you get started. That way, if you start to get frustrated (as it can be a trying time!), you can call on someone to take over while you take a few moments to decompress and get back in the right frame of mind. No one will fault you for it."
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Sticker Charts Are Your Friend
"Use a sticker chart: Not the kind of rewards chart where when you get five stickers, you get to choose a prize. But rather the sticker itself is the reward," Jandu tells Romper. "Every time you child has potty success, let them choose a sticker and put it on their chart. At the end of each day, you can look at the chart all together as a family and celebrate! This will give your child a huge ego boost as it allows them to visualize their progress all in one spot."
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Use A Countdown
"Countdown the days to no more diapers on the calendar," says Jandu. "About 3 to 5 days before you are ready to start potty training, wake up each morning and 'X' off the day with your child. Say, 'X more days until you are a big boy!' Use a lot of positive, encouraging talk during this time. This not only eases your child into the idea that their diapers will be going bye-bye, but it empowers them into believing they can do it."
We did this when my youngest was potty training and it really did work wonders when it came down to finally getting him trained overnight. While he was a bit older than most when it finally happened, a countdown combined with a sticker chart really did help him get over that final hurdle.
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