Communication is key in any relationship, and in order to establish an open and honest line of communication between two partners, you have to ask the tough, kind of awkwardly uncomfortable (at times) questions. While there are some questions that might be difficult to ask (and will lead to answers we probably aren't too excited to hear) a grown-ass woman isn't afraid to ask her partner about the difficult stuff, especially if it means it will strengthen the relationship but even if it means it could possibly end it.
Looking inward and boldly self-evaluating (either for the betterment of yourself, or the betterment of a romantic relationship) can be tough. Egos are fragile and prides are stubborn and it's hard to admit that you might not be perfect for someone else. But, well, you're not. No one is. We're all just flawed human beings who are, sometimes, lucky enough to find another flawed human being to stumble through life with. And because we're not perfect (alone or with someone else or with multiple people) we're often faced with certain situations in which asking our partner(s) tough questions is necessary, so that we can assess our relationships and decide whether or not they are still the best situation for both (or all) parties.
It's not easy and it's not sexy and it's not the driving plot line in some rom-com movie, but it's the reality of most relationships and it's something every grown-ass woman isn't going to shy away from. So, with that in mind, here are 12 questions grown-ass women aren't afraid to ask, because knowing is always better than not knowing.
"What Is Your Least Favorite Thing About Me?"
While it might be hard to hear your partner say anything other than, "I love absolutely everything about you", it's also unrealistic to assume you're not without flaws and those flaws don't drive your partner absolutely crazy. Loving someone doesn't mean loving absolutely everything about them; it just means you're willing to put up with them more than you're willing to put up with anyone else. By asking your partner what it is about you they like the least, your given a sincere opportunity to look inward and either A) improve upon the parts of yourself that your partner doesn't appreciate or B) do those things less around your partner if they're something you can't change or don't want to change.
"How Are Our Finances Looking?"
There's no reason not to ask or talk about money. If you're in a relationship with someone and building a life together, finances are a big part of your ability to do so successfully and (if you're lucky) comfortably. You both should have an equal part in the finances, so that you both are protected and capable of being financially independent if necessary. It might not be sexy or romantic or anything resembling butterflies in your stomach, but it sure as hell is smart.
"What Did I Do To Hurt Your Feelings?"
The shame you feel when you realize you've hurt someone else can be debilitating. (Yes, this is coming from experience, unfortunately) It's not easy looking at the decisions or actions you've made, knowing full well they're responsible for someone else's pain. But when you're a grown-ass woman, you're all about taking responsibility and owning up to your mistakes. You want to know what you've done to hurt your partner so that you can work towards never doing it again. You're not perfect, of course, but you're try to be perfect for your person.
"What Do I Do That Annoys You?"
Again, it's not easy to look at yourself in anything other than a flattering light, but it's exactly what's needed in order to better yourself. If you do something that annoys your partner, you'll want them to tell you. You'd rather be made aware of your frustrating tendencies, than ask your partner to suffer in silence for the sake of your ego or pride.
"What Do You Really Thing About My Mother?"
Ha, just kidding. Never ask this question. Seriously. Never. No good can come from it.
"If We Weren't Together, What Do You Think You'd Be Doing?"
It might be a difficult question to ask, but it's worth inquiring about your partner's potential future had he or she not met you. If you truly love and care about them, you wouldn't want to be the thing that holds them back from doing what they truly want or what would truly make them happy. So, why not ask what they think they would be doing if you weren't there ? Because you're a grown-ass woman, even a tough answer won't stop you from wanting to know, so that you can assess if being with your partner is, in fact, the best decision for both of you.
"What Do You Need That You're Not Getting?"
It can be either from you, or just from life in general. While it isn't your job to make your partner happy (we're all responsible for our own happiness and relying on someone to personally provide it is not only unrealistic, it's cruel) it's not too far fetched or inappropriate to ask if there is anything you could assist your partner in obtaining that would make them happier. Whether it's a new job, a promotion, a higher education; there are multiple sources of happiness and because you and your partner are on the same team, you're going to want to assist your teammate anyway you can.
"Are You Attracted To Someone Else?"
While it might be gentle on the ego, it's unrealistic to believe or assume that you're the only person your partner is attracted to. If you sense that your partner is feeling an attraction to someone else, just ask them. By opening a dialogue, you can give your partner a safe space to discuss their feelings, even and especially if that attraction is cultivating real feelings for someone else. Trust me, it's better to know than to not know.
"If You're Sleeping With Someone Else, You're Using Protection, Right?"
A grown-ass woman is going to want to know that she is safe and healthy, way before she is going to want to know if she is being cheated on. Of course, that's not to say that trust and honesty isn't important to her and obviously being cheated on is never a fun feeling (like, at all) but it's important that everyone is being safe, regardless of who they're having sex with. She's not going to attempt to control her partner's sexuality, she's just going to want to know if she needs to get tested.
"What Turns You On That I'm Not Doing?"
A grown-ass woman is also going to be sex-positive, and won't shy away from asking her partner what turns them on and what they could be doing in the bedroom to elevate their sexual experience. She won't put herself in an uncomfortable situation or compromise her personal safety, but she'll be open to listening to her partner's sexual needs and working with them to have the best sex life possible.
"What Do You Think Our Biggest Weakness Is, As A Couple?"
While every couple would like to consider themselves the best couple of all couples to have ever coupled, that's just not true. Every couple is flawed, and if partners don't take the time to assess their weaknesses and work to improve on them, they may not have the ability to be as long lasting as they would like to be.
"Are You Really, Truly Happy?"
A grown-ass woman is going to want to know that her partner is truly, genuinely happy. If her partner isn't, she'll either work towards helping her partner find their happiness, or she'll send her partner on their way to find it for themselves. Like I said previously, we're all responsible for our own happiness and a grown-ass woman would rather see her partner leave to find theirs, than stay with her and be miserable.