Hey, do you guys know what's great? Sex. It really is just the bee's knees. I'd hypothesized this ever since I thought I invented masturbating as a kid, and later confirmed it through rigorous and thorough research into my teens and 20s. Of course, every now and then, sex results in what health teachers tell us is sex's primary purpose: a baby. (Of course, the idea that sex is primarily for reproduction is up for debate, but that's another article for another time.) And when that happens — the whole baby thing — sex can get more complicated on a whole bunch of different levels.
Whether there are physical issues related to childbirth, emotional issues related to having a new child, or limitations of time, space, or your ability to sleep, these post-baby complications to your sex life can be myriad, intertwined and, frankly, incredibly obnoxious.
But hey, you're an adult — more than an adult, you are a Grown-Ass Woman™ — what does a grown-ass woman do when things get complicated? She deals with it. And she deals with it by approaching the issue with confidence and an open mind. If their partner is also a Grown-Ass Person™, all the better. If not, that fool gets a crash course and quick.
So what are the things a grown-ass woman knows about sex after having a baby? Ahem.
They Know They Will Be Blocked Again And Again By Their Child
Grown-ass women always realize there's a pretty good chance that the instant they decide to get down, their baby will wake up, so they learn to measure their expectations. They do not take this personally or hold it against their infants (usually).
They Know The Importance Of Flexibility... But Not Just That Kind Of Flexibility
Yes, physical flexibility is good, but so too is flexibility in the sense of being adaptive. Whether things are physically different in their fancy bits after giving birth, or they're adapting to time constraints or physical limitations (such as not waking up the baby sleeping a few feet away from them in their bassinet), grown-ass women know that they may need to change up their usual boudoir routines. Rather than get bent out of shape about it, they see it as an opportunity to get creative.
They Know They Will Probably Be Having Less Sex (For A While)
Because let's be honest here, right?
They Know The Art Of The Quickie
A grown-ass woman knows there isn't always going to be time for Sting-inspired tantric sex, so they master the art of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am.
They Know There's No Shame In Scheduling Sex
Is it the most romantic solution in the world? Not at all. But sometimes romance follows sex instead of the other way around. When grown-ass women schedule sex with their partners, it's letting everyone involved know, "This is important to us and we need to make time, even when other things are getting in the way." It's not carefree and spontaneous, but the physical act itself can nurture closeness and, of course, orgasms, both of which are pretty great.
They Know That If Sex Was Important To Them Before Baby, It Will Remain Important After
Grown-ass women recognize that the role of sex is different in every relationship. For some couples, it's a central aspect of their couplehood. For others, sex is a nice side benefit, but not too important. But grown-ass women know that if sex was very important before having a baby, it's probably not all-of-a-sudden going to become unimportant. As such, they follow the aforementioned steps to ensure its continued place in the life of her and her partner. But...
They Know That Sometimes There Will Be Nothing They Can Do To Fix A Problem
Sometimes life gets in the way of sex. It makes perfect sense that having a baby would be one of those things that poses a challenge to one's customary banging routines. And grown-ass women know that sometimes, despite every effort, it's not going to happen: Physical limitations will make sex painful, lack of time or sleep will make it logistically impossible, or a needy baby will interrupt time and time again. That is normal and that is fine. Grown-ass women know that with time and effort (and sometimes professional help), this too shall pass.