My daughter was speaking early. She was saying 100+ words at an age when most other kids had 15 or so; She was speaking in sentences when many kids were still using baby sign language. "She's so smart!" we exclaimed. "Isn't she amazing?" we asked our friends and relatives (I can only imagine how obnoxious we sounded). In truth, we had no idea what we were in for, as any parent with kids who talk a lot will tell you. Like, I'm so glad that my child is inclined toward verbal expression because I love talking, and I love talking to her especially, but seriously, all due gratitude for my healthy child...I wouldn't have minded a few more months of peace and quiet if I'd know what was to come.
If you don't have a highly verbal child, you're probably thinking, "Oh, come on! Kids talk a lot. We all know that." Yes, all kids talk a lot, but super verbal kids talk incessantly. I mean, every single minute of your day is filled with them telling you things, asking you things, talking to their imaginary friends, playing with their toys and making them talk. It literally only stops when they're sleeping, or deeply engrossed in a television program.
Don't get me wrong; I adore my daughter, and she is clearly a smart cookie. Lots of really thoughtful things come out of her mouth! But lots of all kinds of things come out of her mouth, because she talks. So. Much.
If you're reading this and nodding, with tears streaming down your face, thinking to yourself, "Someone finally understands my struggle!" then read on, for 12 other things parents of super chatty kids have to deal with.
Silence Is Golden
That moment when your kid leaves the house for a play date, or finally falls asleep? Best moment of every day. Not because you're no longer with them, but because that 30-second pillow of silence feels so good on your aching ears.
You Find Yourself Keeping A Pen & Paper Handy Because There Are A Million Hilarious Moments
It's not all bad! When your kid talks twice as much as other kids, there are twice as many chances for them to crack you up (and twice as many chances for you to forget the brilliant, weird things they say, thus the pen and paper).
You Only Respond To Your Kid After The Second Or Third Time They Ask You Something
This is either because you're not really listening the first few times, or perhaps you thought they were talking to their imaginary friend again. It can be hard to tell.
They've Likely Made Up A Language So That They Can Talk More Without Having To Be Understood
It's possible that this is just my child.
More Questions Than You Ever Thought Possible
About anything and everything. Sometimes this is super fun (like when she asks why snow disappears), and other times it's just super annoying (like when she asks, for the hundredth time, why she can't watch any more TV, despite the fact that I've explained it to her several times).
Creating Games That Involve Whispering Or Total Silence
Just so you can catch a break.
"If You Ask That Question One More Time..."
You've told your kid they can watch a show when Gramma and Grampa leave, so as soon as they get up to get their coats on, your kid needs to start asking, "Can I watch TV now?" You answer no, so they ask again, 30 seconds later. And again, in another 30 seconds, and so on and so forth, until you tell them they won't be allowed to watch anything at all if they ask again (which is when they look at you and mouth the words to the question).
When You Get Totally Busted Not Fully Listening To Them
You've been listening to a story that your kid has been regaling to you for at least 20 minutes, and you've completely lost the plot, so you mentally check out. Then you realize that your kid is asking you a question directly related to the story, and you have to do some quick back pedalling.
When "Say Hi To Your Aunt Rose" Turns Into A 40-Minute Gab Fest
There's so much to tell her, though! (No, but seriously, I need my phone back.)
Awkwardly Apologizing To Strangers When Your Kid Corners Them To Chat About Their Favorite Dinosaur, In Line At Starbucks
Or tells them they know all the words to every song in Frozen. And then sings every song. Not embarrassing at all, nope.
The Panic Of Realizing There's Been A Full 20 Minutes Of Silence In Your Home
That can never mean good things, people. This is cause for alarm no matter who your kid is, but when you have an especially chatty child, there is almost no way that silence for any prolonged period of time doesn't mean something horribly mischievous is happening.
When You Don't Want To Let On That They Already Know More Than You On Certain Subjects
The kids who become obsessed with a certain subject and then absorb every piece of information in existence on the topic, and ask you a million questions about it... It's so cute. And you love answering their questions, and quizzing them, and watching their brains expand with every passing minute. Until...they ask you something you don't know, and you can't bear to admit to your sweet child that they already know more than you do about this subject. Dear god, they've surpassed you already.