13 Things You Should Never Lie To Your Significant Other About, No Matter The Reason
Everyone knows that being in a relationship means being honest, but there are some very specific things you should never lie to your partner about. I think lies are, fairly often, told to keep your significant other happy. After all, you don't want to hurt their feelings, you don't want to make them feel inadequate, and you don't want to rock the relationship. But there are a few things you have to consider when you start thinking that way — is your relationship not strong enough to handle the truth? Is your partner manipulative and incapable of being told something other than what they want to hear? If these things are the case, the relationship isn't worth pursuing.
Relationships are built on a foundation of trust. Without it, there's nothing to build upon. And false trust? It eventually crumbles. But lying to your partner can have a negative effect on you as well. For one thing, you're not in the relationship you want to be in if you're lying to keep a partner happy or to keep the dynamic from changing. And for another? Lying makes you resentful. It seems simple enough to lie about your sex life with your partner because you don't want to hurt their feelings and then, two years later, you find yourself miserable and resentful that you're still not having the sex life you want. It's not fair to then blame your partner when you should've been honest in the first place.
With the exception of a few white lies that are OK to tell your partner, being honest is the most important thing you can do for your relationship. These 13 things you should never lie about may sound like no-brainers, but they can occur more often than you'd think.
1. Your Health
If you get a bad report from your doctor or even if you think you might be suffering from depression, it's worth being honest about to your partner. They are your support system and they love you — let them know so they can help you.
2. Your Friends And Family
You should never lie about the type of company you keep. If, for whatever reason, you think your partner will bolt when they find out your dad's gay or your best friend is voting for Hillary, then they are not the SO for you. These people are your people, no matter who they are.
3. Your Wants In A Relationship
Your wants are important, always. I think people often have a hard time communicating their wants because they think it makes them sound demanding, but that's not the case. If you want a relationship that focuses more on love and family than partying, you have to speak up. Lying about this just breeds resentment and anger in you.
4. Your Needs In A Relationship
Your needs are different than your wants, but they should be communicated as well. You need effective communication, you need physical touch, you need date nights — and you need to tell your partner.
5. Your Need For Help
I'm terrible at this. My boyfriend will ask if he can help me do anything, and I automatically say no. Fast forward an hour and I'm still struggling to get things done and now I'm tired and cranky. You should always be honest with your SO about your need for help, whether it's with the kids, your health, or keeping up a house.
6. Your Dreams For The Future
Lying about this makes no sense. Now your partner thinks you're not interested in children and want to focus on traveling — but you don't feel that way at all. If you're lying to conform to what your partner wants, you're going to find yourself miserable very quickly.
7. Your Happiness
And I don't mean just your happiness in your relationship, I mean happiness as a part of life. If you're down about your job, or you're having a hard time with a friend, don't lie to your SO. Let them be your sounding board, your voice of reason, or even offer to cheer you up.
8. Your Issues In The Relationship
Another no-brainer, but it can happen without you even realizing it. There's no reason to lie to your partner about things going on between you two. Let them know that you were angry or upset, and your relationship will be even stronger for it.
9. Your "Number"
You know the one. I'm not saying you have to tell your SO on the first date how many people you've slept with, but if they ask, be honest.
10. Your Finances
Money can be such a major issue in relationships that it's best to always be honest about it. Always.
11. Your Past
Again, you don't have to list out everything you've ever done, but if your SO asks if you've ever been in trouble, if you went to college, or any other trivia from your past, be honest. You want this relationship to work, obviously, so imagine five years from now when your partner learns that you lied about dropping out of high school.
12. Your Infidelities
I'm a huge believer that if you cheat, you need to own up to it. You don't get to make the decision to keep the relationship going just because you didn't tell your partner. Let them decide if they want to forgive you and continue with the relationship or if they need some time. You owe it to them.
13. Your Sex Life
We've all faked orgasms, but when it comes to your relationship with your SO, there's no room for pretending to enjoy sex. If you want things to continue with your partner and you want to be sexually satisfied, you need to be honest about the problems you two are having with sex or what you would prefer between the sheets.