If there's one definitive way to tell whether or not someone is an awful parent, it's examining them for tattoos. I know that's the first thing I do when my daughter asks if she can have a playdate with a friend:I examine her friend's mother for any sign of permanent ink. If I find some, NOPE. Playdate cancelled. I would rather my kid sit at home alone all day, every day, than hang out with the clearly-ruined progeny of the type of completely unfit mom who would have tattoos. Moms who have tattoos spell nothing but trouble, and we all know it. Just ask anyone.
Although I'm really one to talk, considering the menacing one-inch tattoo of a music note that taunts people from its station on my ankle. Perhaps I'm being vetted by the other moms in my daughter's kindergarten class? That may explain why I'm never asked to volunteer. (Oh my god, I need to get another, bigger tattoo to ensure I don't have to volunteer for my kids' classes ever.) The teachers and other parents obviously know the truth: Having tattoos makes you a bad mom.
Anyway, when you have tattoos, it's obvious that your critical thinking skills and discernment are lacking. After all, you spent money to get someone to deface you. What kind of monster parent are you, spending money on yourself, when it doesn't fit into the narrow confines that society dictates is "attractive?" Selfish, is the kind of parent you are. And that's just the tip of the crappy iceberg that is your tattooed parenting.
Here are 13 other ways that having tattoos automatically makes you a bad parent: