You guys, the third trimester. Ohhh boy, that third trimester. There are a million difficult things about it, but in some ways, it's your relationship during the third trimester that can feel like it's the most challenging. Not only are the physical symptoms of pregnancy more pronounced by the third trimester, making you exhausted and achey and cranky, but all of the anxiety of having a baby is ramping up, because hello — it's almost go time. You are going to actually be giving birth soon. So naturally, who bears the brunt of all of this stress? Well, you. But also your partner, bless their heart.
I'm not sure what I would have done without my phone when I was pregnant. I'm not sure if I'm the only one (OK, I know I'm not), but the closer I got to the end of my pregnancy, the more I wanted — and needed — to be in touch with my partner. I definitely suffered from pregnancy brain, so I sent a million texts to my husband after we'd both gone to work for the day, because I couldn't remember what I wanted to tell him while we were in the same room. Sometimes it was as simple as asking him to bring home something yummy. Other times, it was a complicated mess of hormonal insanity. (I'm not here for your judgment.) Essentially, we have a lot to say to our partners near the end of our pregnancy, and since it's 2016 and humans existence is what it is, we usually tell them via text.
Here are some of the texts that every woman sends to her partner in her third trimester, broken down by pregnancy week:
YEAH! Third trimester. Let's knock this sh*t out and be done! Baby time! Digital high five!
Who better to share your deepest, most ridiculous fears with than your partner?
C'mon, isn't that what your partner is for when you're pregnant (and always)??
There's nothing like a passive-aggressive text to get the message across. If your partner can't figure out the exact message, they'd better stay away from you until they can.
And it better be something I like.
I mean, clearly they were wrong as hell for this, but you can at least apologize for it because you're the bigger person.
You're on your way home after a long day, and your partner needs to know that foot massages are a priority, dammit. Like, this is non-negotiable.
The sexts have really gone downhill around here.
Am I the only one who had a partner who kept putting things off?
What the hell is that baby doing in there?
Seriously, mama needs to get some shut-eye in when she can, so TURN THE DAMN VOLUME DOWN. Sleep is everything during third trimester.
The struggle is real, ladies. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pregnancy sucks, and this is all your fault. Wasn't this your idea to begin with? Shut up, don't bother answering. No matter what actually happened 9-10 months ago, this is all your fault.
Did I mention this was all your fault? It totally is.
Note: We were going to add texts from Weeks 41 and beyond, but it just got too bleak and expletive-filled. I'm sure you understand.