There are some things you just don't do to a mom. Don't mess with her little ones. Don't ask her when she's going to "lose the baby weight." And, barring neglect, don't suggest she's not giving enough of herself to her children. Look, I get it: we all love the sound of our own voices, so resisting the need to hurl opinions can be difficult. However, I'm here to give you some suggestions about things you can do instead of judge how much time moms spend with their kids.
But first I'd like to talk about maybe why this is an issue in the first place. So there was a while, shortly after I had my first kid, when the people around me would constantly reference my motherhood. "Oh, you're doing that because you're a mom!" or, "You're such a mom!" Even when the subject at hand had nothing to do with maternity in any way, my involvement was somehow always seen through the lens of motherhood. Now I'm sure a lot of that was the novelty of my having a kid, but I think it also just speaks to the idea that society has such a narrow view of mothers, so once a woman has offspring anything about her not in service to the "ideal" is either ignored or judged. The message seems to be that you can be a mother or you can be a complex and interesting human being, but you can't be both. The worst part of it is, I know some women who have admitted to buying into it a little bit and begin only to see themselves as "Caden's mommy" or "Jolene and Sarah's mom." (Personally, for what it's worth, I've found that actively pushing against this idea has been beneficial to my personal wellbeing and interpersonal relationships.)
The idea that mothers must spend an unspecified (but usually highly demanding) amount of time in the physical presence of their children is often the bane of many women (especially working moms). This is often exacerbated by the fact that lots of women would love to spend more time with their kids, but can't due to work, school, or any number of other factors. In short, these women don't need your judgment. So when you feel the need to chastise, here are some handy things you could do instead: