All your life, you're told not to lie. "Honesty is the best policy" and "Be truthful" are phrases you hear when you're a little kid learning the ways of the world. But as you get older, you realize there's a huge gray area with lies. You find yourself in situations where certain lies are acceptable, like lies to keep a friend's feelings from being hurt, lies to protect someone you love, and lies that are OK to tell your kids.
I know, everyone says you should be upfront and honest with your kids. And to a point, I agree. But in some instances, I think it does more damage to tell the truth to your children. When they wake up from a bad thunderstorm and cry to you that they are scared, is it better to say "Everything's going to be OK" or should you say, "I know, I've been watching The Weather Channel, we're probably going to have a tree fall on our house any minute?" You're supposed to protect your children and, sometimes, a lie is the best option for doing that. Of course, there are other lies, too. Lies that help you out as parents and lies that just make it easier to get through the day. These little white lies are OK to share with your kid, no matter your reasoning, and have been muttered by most moms and dads at some point in parenthood. You probably recognize a few from your own childhood. (By the way, Mom, I know that Chuck E. Cheese is open seven days a week now. You owe me some tickets.)
1Santa Claus Is Real
Because why would you deny your children that glorious magic?
2Everything's Going To Be OK
This lie may come at a tough time, which is hard, but is also the reason it's OK to say it. Whether you're in the middle of severe weather or a family tragedy, there's nothing more important than making your children feel safe and secure. Maybe everything isn't going to be OK. Maybe you're not sure how it will all play out. But it is OK to tell your children that everything's fine.
3This Store Doesn't Sell Candy
Nope. Not even a pack of gum. Sorry, kids.
4Your Face Is Going To Get Stuck Like That
This one works particularly well when they're pouting over nothing and you're tired of seeing their face look so sour. It's also OK when your kid is making ugly faces at you for daring to make them eat something green.
5We Were Just Playing A Grown Up Hugging Game
Nobody wants to get caught having sex by their kids, but they really don't want to explain sex to their little wide-eyed kiddos. That's why calling it a game works, but it's a game only adults can play when they're really old, financially independent, and full of self-love. And not a moment sooner.
6There's Nothing To Be Afraid Of
Another loaded lie, but sometimes it's necessary. There are plenty of things to be afraid of, things that you're afraid of, too. But when your child wakes up at 3 a.m. from a nightmare, there's no reason to start explaining fear and all of the scary things in the world to them. You're their protector. Protect them.
7I Didn't Throw Your Artwork Away
You know you save your favorites, but what are you supposed to do with eight hand-shaped turkeys?
8I Love The Way You Sing "Let It Go"
No, I don't get tired of it. Yes, I love when you yell the last part. You sound just like Elsa.
9Mommy Is Allergic To Play-Doh
So we can't have it in the house, or the car, or anywhere really.
10Chuck E. Cheese Is Only Open For Birthday Parties
It's true, you know. They won't even let you in.
11That Animal On The Side Of The Road Is Just Sleeping
I was a super sensitive kid, so I appreciate this lie even more as a parent. There's no reason to explain the food chain either. Those birds are just helping Bambi stand back up.
12These Brownies Are Full Of Spinach
Foolproof way to keep all the chocolatey confections for yourself.
13Soda Is Just For Grown-Ups
And it will make you very sick if you drink any of it. Don't have any at Grandma's house either unless you're spending the night with her. That's the only way you won't get sick.
14I'm Going To Bed, Too
I think all children assume that the minute they're in bed, their parents play with all of their toys and eat all of the snacks. Which is obviously true, but your kids don't have to know that.
15'Caillou' Doesn't Come On Our TV
You know this lie. You've used this lie. And I salute you for it.
16We're Out Of Batteries
And the tiny screwdriver to change them. Sorry, kids.