If you’re reading this, you’re probably going through something of a dry spell. After all, it’s been months since the last new episode of Game of Thrones aired and the wait for the new season has been dark and full of terrors. By now, you’ve probably already re-watched all the episodes and you’ve probably even analyzed that leaked Game of Thrones script page over and over again. What else is there to do to pass the time? No worries, folks! I’ve got something to keep you entertained for at least...a few minutes, and it’s totally related to GoT and it’ll make you laugh (OK, maybe smirk) while you do your best to stop thinking about that recent Game of Thrones Season 6 trailer (holy crap though, seriously?! Seriously...).
Now, I remember before I got into GoT, one of the first things people told me was just how much damn sex there was on the show. Having already watched HBO’s Rome prior to that, however, I wasn’t exactly phased. But I will say this about the show: Being a Game of Thrones fan does put a certain pep in your step when it comes to gettin’ down. Don’t believe me? Check out these totally solid reasons why us GoT fans are the best in bed.
We Know Good Things Often Come In Small Packages
Seriously, there’s no denying that one of the best, most beloved, and sexiest characters on GoT is Tyrion. His stature certainly has no bearing on his personality or abilities, and GoT fans bring that understanding to the bedroom.
...And That Size Doesn’t Mean Everything
Sometimes it feels like the world is obsessed with size. Bigger boobs, bigger penis, bigger butts, smaller waists... Who cares? One of the largest characters of all on GoT, the Mountain, is a goddamn bastard. But Brienne of Tarth, certainly the tallest woman on the show, is also the most badass and hottest in my book. GoT fans really don’t give a damn.
We’re Totally Cool With Doing Some Gender Role Reversal
If Arya Stark can get away with hiding out as a boy, we’re perfectly fine doing it too, especially for a sexy cause. Hell yeah, genderswap!
We’re Obviously Happy To Do A Bit Of Role Playing
Want to pretend you’re the Khal Drogo to my Khaleesi? Or Maybe something a bit more unexpected… How about Cersei and Bronn? Who could complain about this, really?
We’re Down To Get It On In The Snow...
Hey, if Ygritte and Jon Snow can do it. So long as no Whitewalkers are watching...
...Or Even With The Snow.
Well, Jon Snow, that is. Seriously, Kit Harrington, if you’re reading this, drop me a line. My husband won’t mind (I’m pretty sure, anyway).
And We’re Never Afraid Of A Little Heat
If Dany can handle it, so can we.
We Certainly Know How To Party Before A Romp In The Sack
Yes, please, keep it coming and then maybe we’ll keep you coming. Wink wink, nudge nudge. (Oh wait, that wasn't subtle at all.)
We’re Fine With Teaching You A Thing Or Two
Nothing wrong with lacking experience. We don’t judge and we’re happy to show you some new (to you) techniques, provided you’re open to learning them.
But If You’ve Already Got Experience, That’s Fine, Too
Game of Thrones is a sexy-ass show, so if you’re that type gets their jollies after every episode, we don’t blame you one bit. In fact, we like it when you can teach us things, too.
We’re All About Getting Creative To Avoid Ever Being Boring
Sure, there are some slow episodes of Game of Thrones now and again, but really, we always prefer the more intense scenes (I’m dying to know how they’re going to top that final Whitewalker battle from last season because that’s still haunting me).
Our Eye Contact Game Is On Point
We learned this early on from Dany (aka, the Khaleesi) who used it to woo her Khal. No one had hotter sex than those two, but we’re all constantly trying.
We Often Like To Get A Little Dirty
Pretty much everyone on GoT looks just a bit dusty and dirty all the time. And honestly, sometimes it’s even a little hot.
Hell, We’re Not Even Squeamish About A Little Blood...
Too much? Whatever, it happens. Get a napkin and get over it.
Yet We Sure Do Clean Up Well
We’ve seen the difference a shower can make on Ms. Targaryen (we like her both ways, yes, but it’s nice to see her polished up sometimes) and we’ve seen the ol’ King Slayer at his most pristine (prior to that whole getting mucked up and losing a limb). It can be rather nice. We’ve taken note and know how to follow suit when necessary.
And We Don’t Really Judge Your Sexual Predilections
So long as your sexual interests aren’t harming anyone, we’re probably at least open to seeing them on screen and possibly even trying them in real life...
...Unless Of Course They’re Anything Like Joeffrey’s Or Ramsay Snow’s In Which Case Please GTFO
Nightmares forever. These two bastards deserve each other, but they’ll never have us in the sack.
And Finally...Love Or Lust (Or Dope-Ass Partnership) At First Sight? Yeah, We Believe In It.
Life moves fast in Westeros and Essos, so it’s no surprise that most romances here are quite whirlwind. GoT fans also often follow their hearts (or other body parts), because YOLO and all. No, but really, we’re just a bunch of hopeless romantics with probably a slightly higher sex drive than usual. No biggie.