The iconic Christmas movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is full of lines that get repeated over and over again each holiday season. Even if you've never seen the film, you've undoubtedly heard a line or two over the years — it is that quotable. These 20 Christmas Vacation Instagram quotes are perfect for captioning a variety of holiday photos that will inevitably be snapped by you and yours this year.
I have watched the 1989 classic since long before it was age appropriate for me to do so. My family loves to gather together to watch the hilarity of the Griswold family because it makes us feel better when our own holiday time plans go awry. There is also nothing quite like shouting "Sh*tter's full!" down the hall at your mom's house just because you know it will get a huge laugh from everyone in the next room.
Just like Cousin Eddie, some of these quotes are a little rough around the edges, and — despite being perfect for many holiday photo situations — may not be appropriate for the masses. Although they definitely won't up and empty their toxic waste into your sewer, these Christmas Vacation Instagram quotes do require you to know your audience before you hit post.
1. "Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here." — Clark
This is the Christmas Vacation quote you're going to want to use to caption those less-than-ideal holiday shots you get back from the professional photographer where despite your matching red sweaters and picturesque Christmas tree farm setting, your toddler is wailing and your husband isn't smiling at all. Despite their protests, you stood your ground and made sure to get your sitting fee's worth of family Christmas pictures to send to your great-grandma in Wisconsin.
2. "Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination." — Clark
When you want to shine a light on how influential your own father has been on your Christmas light hanging skills, this Christmas Vacation quote will absolutely get the job done. Tagging your pops in an Instagram photo of your house totally decked out Griswold-style paired with this quote is sure to brighten his day.
3. "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" — Clark
Your little sister's family has overstayed their welcome, so you post a selfie of your frazzled, eggnog-filled self with this quote from Christmas Vacation on Instagram and pray that she gets the hint when she scrolls through her feed.
4. "Merry Christmas! Sh*tter's Full!" — Cousin Eddie
This iconic line is perfect for just about any holiday photo you post on Instagram this year. Fans of Christmas Vacation will immediately get the reference, and you can tell those who don't get it to go stream the movie ASAP, which will in turn enhance their Christmas experience and make the world a better place.
5. "We're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye." — Clark
Darn right, we are! This is the kind of holiday spirit you're likely spreading as you force your kids to smile for the camera around a tree with wrapped gifts piled high that you won't let them open until you get the perfect photo of your entire crew and all of their Christmas morning glory.
6. "I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas, and we're all in misery." — Ellen
Is it really even Christmas if you don't say this at least once during your family celebration? If your family is anything like mine — who are so much like the Griswold's it's scary — you know that not all Christmases are picture perfect. But you'll post a photo of your family's faux pas to the 'gram anyway because it's Christmas, and that's basically a holiday requirement.
7. "Yes, it's a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out." — Clark
Whether you've been outside singing Christmas carols to the neighbors or out in the snow chopping down your family's tree, this Christmas Vacation quote works tremedously well when you post a picture of you and yours all bundled up on Instagram.
8. "Save the neck for me, Clark." — Cousin Eddie
When you post a photo of your family's Christmas dinner spread with a big, shiny turkey smack dab in the middle of the table to your Instagram, this Christmas Vacation quote is the perfect one to accompany it.
9. "I love it here. You don't gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place!" — Mary
If you're spending the holidays at your relative's house and want to show your appreciation for their hospitality, posting a photo of your festivities on Instagram with this complimentary quote from Christmas Vacation will not only show off your sense of humor, but re-iterate how much you love staying with them.
10. "Now, don't go fallin' in love with it." —Cousin Eddie
This Christmas Vacation quote works in a variety of Instagram photo situations. For instance, your kids opened their new gifts, but you forgot to buy batteries. Or, you noticed the Christmas turkey looks nice and golden brown on the outside, but when you cut into it, the inside is still raw and you can't eat it.
11. "If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now." — Clark
When your typically moody pre-teen walks up to you on Christmas morning, gives you the biggest hug imaginable, and then hands you the most precious homemade gift, be sure to snap a pic and post it to Instagram with this Christmas Vacation quote — they likely won't be this nice again for months.
12. "Looks great. Little full, lotta sap." — Clark
Pair this Christmas Vacation quote with the obligatory post Christmas tree-decorating shot on your Instagram to add some humor and jazz up an otherwise standard holiday post.
13. "Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?" — Clark
Whether you've partied the night away on Christmas Eve with your cousins who you haven't seen since last year, or you're simply recovering from staying up late playing Santa for your kids (because somebody didn't put together any toys ahead of time) this Christmas Vacation quote is ideal for posting when you have to wake up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning.
14. "Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?" — Audrey
I love my grandparents more than pretty much anything or anyone else on the face of the planet, but when the stress of the holidays hits, who can blame anyone for getting a little overwhelmed? If your grandparents are fans of Christmas Vacation, they will probably be thrilled to take a selfie with you that you can post to Instagram with this quote.
15. "You about ready to do some kissin'?" — Cousin Eddie
This Christmas Vacation quote can be used for all of the not-so-lovey-dovey selfies you and your sweetheart will ironically post while you're up late putting together 5,000-piece kids toys and decidedly not doing any kissin' because you're just so dang exhausted from all of the holiday fun.
16. "I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas." — Audrey
This is every single mom on most mornings, but especially early on a Christmas morning when your kids unwrap brand new bikes and immediately insist on riding them up and down your street. Use this Christmas Vacation quote to make light of the situation when you document that particularly exciting experience on Instagram.
17. "My cousin in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain." — Clark
If you have a cousin who shows up to celebrate Christmas in their run-down RV, empties toxic waste into your sewer, and then kidnaps your boss on Christmas Eve — or something along those lines — feel free to pair this Christmas Vacation quote with a selfie of the two of you together on Instagram.
18. "Real nice, Clark." — Cousin Eddie
You probably have a "Clark" in your life. Whether it's your Christmas-obsessed sister, over-decorating dad, or that distant uncle who freaks out over every little thing that goes wrong during the holidays, when someone in your life is acting like Clark W. Griswold, go ahead and post a pic of their over-the-top holiday decor to Instagram with this Christmas Vacation quote as the caption.
19. "How can things get any worse? Take a look around you Ellen! We're at the threshold of Hell!" — Clark
When your Christmas festivities don't go exactly the way you planned, snap a pic, post it to your Instagram page, and use this Christmas Vacation caption to express exactly how haywire things have gotten.
20. "Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my a**. Kiss his a**. Happy Hanukkah." — Clark
If your Instagram followers aren't easily offended, posting this iconic Christmas Vacation quote to celebrate the season with a holiday photo of your choosing is a classically hilarious choice that you won't soon regret.
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