20 Clever Halloween Insta Captions, That Friends Will Seriously Be Impressed By

Halloween traditions certainly have evolved since we were kids. Back then, our prep work consisted of picking out a costume at the discount store and perching a jack-o'-lantern on the front porch. Today, it's all about creepy animated lawn displays, orange and purple lights everywhere, watching YouTube tutorials on trompe l'oeil face painting, and posting clever Halloween Instagram captions to go along with pictures of your family's costumes and parties.

Instagram was practically invented for Halloween, when you think about it. How else can you show the world your family's outfits, your decorated pumpkins, the school carnivals and street festivals, and the candid moments of kids trying to creep each other out? But a good Insta post also includes a witty or otherwise appropriate caption to make the picture complete.

If you need inspiration for your own posts, try one of the 20 that I found especially funny. You can look to Pinterest or to Instagram itself for more ideas, or try coming up with some of your own. You can't go too far wrong with variations on "witch," "fang," "boo," "haunt," or "ghoul" (one of the popular captions this year is #SquadGhouls). Or research some of the quotes from such Halloween classic movies and TV shows as Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Hocus Pocus, or It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. (That last one contains one of the greatest quotes ever: "There are three things I've learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.")

Take a look, and happy hunting — er, haunting!


Creepin' It Real

Because a holiday that calls for cotton spiderwebs, syrup blood, and hiding under makeup and masks has to be genuine.


Fangs For The Memories

A must for the trick-or-treater wearing a Dracula or True Blood outfit. This is one caption that doesn't suck.


I'm Just Here For The Boo-ze

This is the one to post when you're headed out to a Halloween party that doesn't involve juice boxes. (Yay, adulting!)


This Witch Can Be Bribed With Chocolate

Because, can't we all? (:::raises hand:::)


Something Wicked This Way Comes

Shakespeare was a man way ahead of his time. How did he know one of his most famous Macbeth quotes would make such a perfect social media caption?


We Have A New Pumpkin In The Patch!

Have a baby surprise to reveal? Snap a pic of your decorated bump, add this caption, and wait for all the likes to roll in.


Clothes Make A Statement. Costumes Tell A Story.

Truth. Whether you're a superhero or a snow globe, you are what you wear on All Hallows' Eve. This quote from Mason Cooley sums it up nicely.


Bad To The Bone

Especially cute if your baby or toddler is dressing as a skeleton.



Another bone-rattling caption that works especially well if you and the fam are all doing a Day of the Dead theme.


What A Haunt Mess

Your Halloween makeup didn't come out exactly the way it looked on YouTube? Just go with it and let the world laugh with you.


Mischief Managed

The perfect caption for the pic you take after your kids come back with their bag-bulging haul.


Ghostess With The Mostest

You're the one throwing the Halloween bash? Selfie time!


Ghoul, Please

Combining slang and puns is one of my favorite things (next to eating mini-Kit Kats and Hershey's Dark). So for me, this one is everything.


My Blood Type Is Pumpkin Spice

Use this one, and try not to think about the sad fact that the PSLs will be replaced by gingerbread and peppermint in just a couple of weeks.


You Say Witch Like It's A Bad Thing

Moms can use this caption even when it's not Halloween.


Extreme Makeover

Best for a full-on, face-painted, "I didn't know who you were" holiday ensemble.


Keep Calm And Haunt On

Good advice for Halloween, and for the other 364 days of the year, when you think about it.


All The Cobwebs In My House Just Became Decorations

Of course my place is always immaculate! I let it look like a disaster area for Halloween on purpose! Yeah...that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.



Because you totally rule this holiday. As well you should.


I'd Dress Up As Siri For Halloween If My Life Didn't Already Entail Being Asked Stupid Questions All Day

And finally, this one. A little long, perhaps, but it made me laugh so hard I snorted, so maybe you can relate, too.