Kids are known for saying whatever's on their minds, which can make online homeschooling lessons pretty interesting, to say the least. As the current abundance of funny tweets about kids on Zoom proves, this lack of a filter can produce some truly hysterical quotes. If anything, you'll probably find these moments of extreme virtual oversharing a little too relatable.
At least these funny kid quotes bring a little levity into the weird quarantine world. Even when they're adjusting to the changes of online classrooms and Zoom meetings, kids are still going to make hilarious observations, misuse words in the best possible way, and of course share all of your family's business with the rest of the meeting. (More than one of my parent friends has been forced to make a new house rule: No Zoom meetings in the bathroom.)
So although it's a stressful time in so many way, kids are going to be themselves through all of it, and that silliness is refreshing. After all, when you have a couple dozen first graders excited to see one another in a virtual meeting, of course they're going to discuss whatever's ping-ponging through their brains. And during the quarantine, what are they focused on more than what the family's up to? (So much for secrets.)
1. Surprise Gift
Glad this was just a mispronunciation. I shudder to think about what a cockroach machine would do.
2. Honestly, Same
Cheese is the ultimate comfort food, at least in my house. And as it turns out, there may be health benefits to eating cheese, because it might reduce the effects of sodium on the body's blood vessels. So, snack away, kid.
4. Well, It's Obvious
Kid logic is amazing. Nouns are things that walk, right? (But don't dogs walk?)
5. Crucial Details
Well, was it blue, red, or yellow? Your audience is waiting here. Very important details.
6. Ah-Ha Moment
To be fair, I've made similar remarks many times. Sometimes auto-correct doesn't even have a clue.
7. Sass Master
Oh, snap. This kid is not playing. Which is good, because geometry is no joke.
8. Called Out
It's OK. Not everyone wants to spring for the premium right now. How many online services is a person supposed to pay for, anyway?
10. Well, Why Not?
Hey, sometimes you have to create your own fun. And sometimes that fun means making a straw impossible to use.
11. Modern Kid
This kid already understands how to research basic questions. The 6-year-old is going places.
12. Technically True
It isn't a wrong answer. It's just a bit unexpected.
13. Thanks For Sharing
Non sequiturs are just part of kid conversations. Chances are, they're all sharing a whole lot of info about their home lives over Zoom.
14. My Two Cents
Well, it's a super fun word. There's definitely worse choices out there.
15. Grow Up So Fast
Sometimes what you overhear on your kid's Zoom call is striking for a different reason. The child is growing and maturing right before your eyes.
16. Privacy, Please
I have to respect anybody taking Zoom school so seriously. The kid has some serious focus.
17. How Did You Know?
Isn't it great when students relate to a teacher this well? What a sweet compliment.
18. Too Real
Well, OK then. There's more than one definition of the word "strong."
19. Far Out
Yes, it's the kind of space with flying donuts and unicorns. The Hubble Telescope wishes it could photograph a part of space that's this cool.
20. Hazards Of Working From Home
OK, but if anyone is successfully able to work from home with cats, please tell me the secret. Mine want to lie on my keyboard all day.
To be fair, there's a big difference between a meeting and a hangout. This kid just wants to chill with his friends.
22. Lesson On Clarification
OK, but if I were on the other end of the Zoom call, that comment would make my day. You don't even need context for a question like that.
23. Best Meeting Ever
Sign me up. I want to hang out with the elephants. Let's zoom over to the zoo.
24. Maximum Overshare
Oof. It takes a while for kids to understand what "that's personal" means.
25. Zoom My Way
If that isn't multitasking, then what is? This kid gets it. Also this kid is a genius.
26. Speaking The Truth
I love how absolutely literal kids can be. It's a true statement.
27. Wait, What?
Yep, kids grow up a lot from the tween to teen years. This is adorable.
28. Actual LOL
If you laughed out loud at this joke (I did), then congrats. You'll love the basic Dad jokes, too, such as the classic that goes, "Your nose is running, better catch it."
29. Honest Question
To be honest, this is what plenty of adults wonder during their Zoom meetings, too. They just learn how to keep it to themselves.
30. Just What She Wanted
It's hilarious because it's true. What mom hasn't daydreamed about a day out sans kids during the quarantine?
31. Takes Forever
Your mom might not consider it boring. Ask her about the experience some time.
32. I See Your Point
It's time to count on your fingers and toes. That's how to manage big numbers.
33. Major Oof
OK, but do they have to be so honest? Yikes.
34. Big Day Out
Something about the honesty of this one made me snort-laugh. I imagine the kid totally deadpanning his response.
35. I'm Sorry, What?
OK, at least that explanation makes sense. They're just talking rocks. Phew.
36. Technically Correct
OK, but what *is* a baby rhino called? Now I have to Google that. (It's a calf.)
37. Listening Skills
He got the gist of the conversation. And honestly, plenty of parents probably share that sentiment.
38. Thanks For Sharing
Yep, it looks like all the family secrets are out when Zoom school is happening right in your house. But on the bright side, using a swear jar might be a good idea for your family, according to a child development expert. It can be a useful tool.
This family sounds cool. I just imagine the mom looking up from her puzzle and going, "Nope, I'm not a scalywag."
40. Zoom School Rules
If you thought fidget spinners were distracting, now kids have their entire toy collection at hand during school hours. It's... a challenge.
41. Yet Again
It looks like Zoomers of all ages have the same problem. And for the most part, that problem is accidentally muting yourself.
42. Online Classroom Management
I see you, kid. Snacks are impossible to resist sometimes. (What was it last time, I wonder?)