So you want to get on board with the sex positive movement. Awesome. The first thing you'll want to do? Educate yourself. Like any subject, you'll want to learn about what it is before you. Otherwise, you'll wind up throwing out phrases that aren't sex positive, even if they sound like it.
I can't emphasize how important it is to educate yourself on sex positivity before diving into the world. Learn a few sex positive terms, check out a book at the library, immerse yourself in the ideas surrounding the movement. Find out ways to be more sex positive, and embrace your sexuality in the process.
In any conversation, especially in conversation surrounding a sensitive and sometimes controversial subject, it's important to use sensitive language. By really investigating sex positive terminology, phrases, and history, you'll not only know more for your own purposes, you'll be able to join in the conversation confidently and compassionately. So get ready to throw slut-shaming out the window and become a champion for inclusivity and healthy sexual expression. In good time, with enough practice, all of your sex positive lingo will be second nature. You won't have to think twice about framing things the right way, because you'll be a seasoned sex positive professional whose education never stops. In the meantime? Keep your mind sharp, and your tongue sharper by watching out for the phrases below.
1. "You Slut!"
Yes, taking back the word 'slut' is an important part of the sex positive movement. But throwing that word down to someone who might not be ready for it or cool with it is not. Find other ways to encourage your friends into sex positivity without putting someone else in an uncomfortable zone.
2. "I Don't Get It, But I Can Respect It"
Any time you preface an affirmation with the idea that you don't understand it, you lessen the value of the affirmation. That's not respect at all.
3. "You Have So Much Sex"
Commenting on the frequency of someone else's sex life? Not only is it not your business, it's not sex positive. There is no gauge as to how much sex is a regular amount of sex, or how much sex is "so much" sex. So while you might think this is an encouragement, positivity, or even a compliment? Think twice. Quantifying sex to a societal standard is a negative way to go.
4. "Walk Of Shame"
Rename that walk of shame. Because there's nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to sex. Call it a stride of pride. Or the slut strut. Or the post-coital party parade.
5. "Hot Sex"
Even though you might think you're elevating sex positivity by dubbing your sex "hot sex", one of the main principles of sex positivity is not glamorizing sex. While it's important and it's healthy to have a good sex life, it's also important not to brag, and not to imply that your sex life is somehow better than theirs. It doesn't move dialogue forward, and implies that crazy hot sex all the time should be everyone's goal, rather than honoring your own desires and needs.