Sometimes, things just don’t work out with your partner, and that’s totally OK. And sometimes, “staying together for the kids” may do more harm than good, especially if you’re constantly fighting and bickering all the time, or displaying unhealthy relationship patterns. Kids definitely pick up on and internalize a lot more than we give them credit for sometimes. If you’re in this unfortunate situation, you may be wondering how best to break it to your kids. Experts say there are things no one tells kids during a divorce but should, and knowing them can give you a little help on how to discuss such a hard and sensitive topic. Because let’s face it, no matter what, divorce sucks all around, even if it is for the best.
Niche dating site founder Dr. Wyatt Fisher, who is also a licensed psychologist, says in an email interview with Romper, “Divorce has a negative impact on all children on some level because the security of their world is severely cracked. However, to help minimize the impact, remember consistency is the key.” Wyatt suggests keeping your kids in the same home, the same schools, and the same routines they had before the divorce, and to make sure the parent who ends up moving out continues to see the kids on a regular basis to maintain a relationship. It's important that the children know the other partner is still interested in them and a huge part of their life. In addition to these ways to minimize impact, it’s important to talk to your children about their concerns, and address the situation “through the lens of a child,” according to Wyatt. Keep in mind most of these suggestions are based on the fact that there was no abuse or crime involved, and your partner can still safely be involved in your lives.