There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that would've let me know I was meant to have a big age gap between kids. Turns out, though, five years is the magic number that keeps our family balanced.
My partner and I decided to try for our second child when our daughter was just a rambunctious 2-year-old toddler. Our lives were busy, and she took up every bit of my attention and care, but we felt ready and decided it was time to give her a sibling. It only took me a few months to get pregnant, but I miscarried shortly after. All of a sudden, our plan didn't seem so clear. It took two more years, and another pregnancy loss, before I found out I was pregnant with my son.
Because it took so long to carry a second pregnancy to term, I cared very little about an age gap and what it would or wouldn't mean for my family. In the end, all I really wanted was another child. But when I finally welcomed my son to the world and the dust settled, it was obvious that five years was pretty damn perfect for us. So, with that in mind, here are a few signs a large age gap between your kids would work well for your family, too.
You Enjoy Juxtapositions
Big things and small things, living together? Sign me up! There's something about a pair of toddler underwear and a stack of diapers that highlight the ever-evolving life of a mom, right? If you're a big fan of changing it up on the regular, and often unexpectedly, a big age gap is for you.
You Save *Everything*
Guess who didn't have to buy a ridiculous amount of baby stuff when she had her second? That's right, me. I saved all of my daughter's stuff, so it was really easy to pass down my daughter's things to my son. If you can't fathom purchasing duplicate items to suit two young ones close in age, a big age gap helps.
You're OK Asking For Help
You have no qualms asking for help when necessary. In fact, you're all for it and definitely believe it "takes a village to raise a baby." So a big age gap is probably perfect, since you'll have a built-in miniature helper more than welling to lend a hand.
You Like Living In The Moment
There's something to be said for having enough time to really get a hang of, and enjoy, taking care of one child. I had five years of one-on-one time with my daughter, and that's time I wouldn't take back for the world. And when my son was born, my daughter was independent enough for me to be able to spend a lot of one-on-one time with my son, too.
You've Finally Wrangled Sleep
The moment my daughter was born my chances of enjoying a full night's sleep went right out the proverbial window. So, yes, I needed to get a chance to sleep through the night before I had another needy newborn on a sleep strike.
You're Incredibly Patient
You're fine taking your time, and never really feel the need to rush your way through life. You're of the "if it happens, it happens" mentality, and you're more than happy to wait around for things to feel as comfortable as possible.
So a big age gap? That's no big deal for you. In fact, you don't mind waiting for baby number two at all.
Check out Romper's new video series, Bearing The Motherload, where disagreeing parents from different sides of an issue sit down with a mediator and talk about how to support (and not judge) each other’s parenting perspectives. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook.