I hated pregnancy. Loathed it. Despised it. I mean, sure, I loved wearing yoga pants every day for 40 weeks (more or less) but I was miserable trying to navigate the world in a body I no longer recognized. For nine or so months, during both my pregnancies, I groaned and complained over the loss of my bodily autonomy, wishing time would fast forward to postpartum life. There are things I wish my partner said to me about my pregnant body, too, and I can't help but think that those sentiments would have helped me appreciate everything my body was doing during two extremely different pregnancies. Maybe. I mean, his words couldn't hurt, right?
My pregnant body was not my favorite. Some women revel in the way their bellies expand, shamelessly enjoying that infamous "glow" and even appearing to be in good spirits until those contractions signal the end of their pregnancies. I'm not one of those women, though. Not even a little bit. While I am more than grateful to have experienced pregnancy not once, but twice — especially after enduring two pregnancy losses and years of infertility issues — I just wasn't prepared for how taxing growing another human being in your body truly is. I loved hearing my little one's heartbeat, but I didn't love the heartburn. I enjoyed the ability to make different food choices as often as I needed, but I hated the morning (read: all day) sickness that plagued me for months.
Basically my body was in ruin, and while my partner said complimentary and sweet things during my pregnancies, cute little sentiments weren't always what I wanted to hear. At a narcissistic time, where I needed a little more validation and for someone to simply listen to me, I wanted the truth. Instead of telling me I had the "glow" when I obviously didn't (it was hormonal sweat and acne) here are some things I wish my partner had said to me. Us pregnant women are badasses, you guys. We don't need to be coddled. We need to have someone give it to us straight, and in the following ways: