Parenting comes with its own special set of really embarrassing moments. Everyone has experienced them and every mom has hung her head and felt like the butt of some unspoken cosmic joke at some point or another. So, it's no surprise that stay-at-home moms are hardly an exception. In fact, there are embarrassing moments every stay-at-home-mom knows all too well, usually unique to their situation yet universal in that, well, every stay-at-home mom has probably experienced them.
As parents, we expect to deal with a certain amount of humiliation at the hands of our children. From inappropriate peeing to our kids dropping f-bombs that they've definitely hard us say before; parents are constantly on the lookout and somewhat ready to handle the next embarrassing moment. Having said that, I think stay-at-home-moms experience embarrassing situations more frequently, just because we're with our children every second of every day, and are therefore subject to their shenanigans more consistently than parents who work outside the home tend to be. Since we don't necessarily have to look our best (or smell our best, if I'm being honest) to parent at home all day every day, we tend to forget there's more to the world than our kitchen, living room, yard, and van. When that happens, it's safe to assume that hilarity (and humiliation) will ensue.
There are some universal truths about stay-at-home moms and their experiences, and most of them are embarrassing as hell. Here are a few you can laugh at or commiserate with, because solidarity is key and a solid sense of humor is vital if we're going to collectively make it out of this whole parenting thing alive (and with our sanity intact).
When You Get Busted Wearing The Same Clothes You Were Wearing Yesterday
I don't know about you, but it's not unusual for me to wear pants one day, sleep in them, and wear them again the next day. It's only embarrassing if someone notices (which rarely happens) because face it, you don't see anyone except your kids.
When You Use "Baby Talk" When Speaking To Every Adult You Come Across
After spending the majority of your time surrounded by kids, anytime you get the opportunity to chat with an adult is a treat. However, that treat usually involves us randomly catching ourselves talking to a grown-ass human being as if they were a 2-year-old toddler. Oops.
When You Forget That Other Adults Actually Leave Their Houses During The Day
I was at a parent's utopia (a certain fast-food restaurant) and saw a father I knew from my son's peewee soccer league. Our kids got along and played really well, so I mentioned we should schedule a play date one Thursday (because Thursday is play date day at my house, duh).
He looked at me like I was an alien. He said, "Umm, I have a job." Of course you do.
When Your Kid Is That Kid During Story Time
If you're a stay-at-home mom to a "spirited" child and you've attempted an outing in which you take your child to a local "story time." you know. They're disruptive and they refuse to sit on the carpet square or listen to the story being read. If you've ever gathered your dignity and walked right out in the middle of story time, red-cheeked and holding back tears, you are my sister.
When You Have, Um, Something On Your Shirt
Every stay-at-home mom is familiar with the following scenario:
There is something on your shirt, and you're not sure what it is. It could be poop. It could be snot. It could be spit up or vomit. Then again, it could be caramel or yogurt. Who knows. And if you do know what it is, you totally aren't telling and will just go with "caramel." Yep, that's what that is. Caramel you guys.
When You Open The Door To Your Van And Your Entire House Falls Out
Should disaster ever strike and require my family to take up residence in our minivan, we'd be fine. There are plenty of snacks and half empty juice pouches under the seats and at least four different changes of clothes for each family member.
At least I can say I'm "prepared," right?
When Someone Visits In The Afternoon And You Are Still In Your Pajamas
Since it's actually just the yoga pants you wore yesterday, this visitor be none the wiser. However, it's safe to assume they're totally judging the mystery smear on your shirt and your legit messy hair. You win some, you lose some.
When You Turn Down A Night Out Because Who Goes After Dinner Anyway?
I can't remember the last time I drove anywhere after dark. In fact, on Halloween night we were home before the damn sun set. People think I'm ridiculous (and I suppose I am) for not ever going out at night, but really, I just can't. There's sleep to be had, people, and I'm all about my #priorities.