8 Things People Say To Working Moms That Feel Really Judgmental
byChrissy Bobic
One thing I've learned as a mom is to check my judgments at the door. What might work for one mom doesn't necessarily go well for another and that's totally OK. And there are definitely plenty of parenting styles to choose from when rearing your kids. When the best interest of your kid is your main goal, there is no one best way of parenting them. But even still, moms tend to find ways to judge one another and even gang up on each other for doing things they might disapprove of or do differently.
You know the typical go-to realms of inter-mommy judgment: Breastfeeding is the only way to go because formula feeding is awful; Cloth diapers are just so much better for babies' bottoms and better for the environment too; "We only eat organic. Do you know the kinds of hormones in that chicken you're giving your toddler?" And working moms? Don't they know that they're missing out on so much? Even the more seasoned of moms can be subjected to judgments and to judging others themselves.
I could go on, but really, it's exhausting thinking about all of the ways that we as moms pit ourselves against each other. Because it really doesn't have to be an "us against them" scenario every time more than one stance is available when it comes to raising our kids. We're all in this together, aren't we? Or rather, we're all not in this together, so why the hell do we feel like we need everyone to agree with our choices.
Even (and sometimes especially) those people who don't even have kids of their own like to take it upon themselves to lecture working moms about how everything they're doing is pretty much wrong and about how much they'll regret it. Because you know, that's exactly what moms need to hear while they struggle with their own internal battle of whether or not they're doing the right thing.
The little ways in which people work-shame moms often come in conversation and in "advice" that seems to mean well but falls so flat.