Everyone parents differently. Some parents are super involved and constantly hustling and bustling from point A to point B and others, well, aren't. Others are relaxing on their sofas, content on the level of chill they've managed to reach. Laid-back parenting is actually a thing, and when you are a laid-back mom there are a few things you won't have to apologize for. Honestly, it's pretty damn liberating, if I do say so myself.
I'll be the first one to tell you that I'm lazy, so I have no problem being labeled a "lazy mom." I have way too much on my plate to do more than bare minimum in any particular scenario, so you won't find me over-extending myself anytime soon. Plus (and I think it helps), I'm just not wired to stress about certain things. Dirty kids? Whatever. Wrinkled clothes? Oh well. Matching family pictures where everyone looks happy and perfect? No. Just no. Just thinking about trying to oversee all those activities makes me anxious and uneasy. I know what'll potentially cause me stress so I avoid them, and try to do the same for my children.
Sometimes it's hard not to hover above my kids to make sure they're constantly OK and sometimes I mess up, but I am definitely a better mom when I just chill the hell out and let things happen. So, with that in mind and because we could all use a little more chill in our collective lives, here are a few things I'll never have to apologize for as a laid-back parent (and neither do you).
Your Messy House
Your house is messy and so is mine and so is hers and so is his. In fact, so her house and their hours and that other house over there? Yeah, also messy. Everyone's house is messy. Everyone.
So when someone with an equally messy house comes to your house, you can be all NBD. Why stress over a situation everyone is dealing with? Exactly.
Your Kid's Mismatched Clothes
Your kid is independent and has his or her own taste. If they pick out a pink tutu and a Batman shirt to wear with tiger striped leggings and rain boots, you won't be thinking twice about it or batting a single eyelash. That kid knows what he or she likes and who are you to make them second guess it? If other parents give you side-eye, you don't sweat it.
Your Uninvolvement In Pretty Much Everything
You know there's such a thing as "too much" being too much, so you don't stress over-involvement, or involvement at all. PTA? Nope. Team mom? Nah. You're good.
If you and your kid are into a specific extracurricular activity, you're all about it. If not, well, then you're more than happy to sit on the sidelines and watch the other parents stress about it. There are enough moms who dig that stuff that you don't need to pretend you do, too.
Having An Independent Child Who Can Talk To Adults
My 4-year-old son has zero inhibitions about talking to adults. He will insert himself into any conversation with not even a hint of self-consciousness.
I'm proud as hell of that.
He's confident and sure of himself. I encourage him not to interrupt, but other than that, my child is definitely heard and seen and I don't worry about what other parents will think.
Being An Over-Stressed Basketcase
You don't have to apologize about stressing out because, well, you're not stressing out. You don't get worked up over the small stuff. You're not the neurotic mom who worries about every single aspect of her unique snowflake's existence. Your kid doesn't want to play soccer? Oh well. You have a 5-year-old son who can't read yet? Meh, he'll learn when he's ready. You don't sweat the small stuff because, in the end and always, you know you don't have anything to prove to anyone but yourself and your family.
Not Being Available When Your Kid Needs You
Because you limit your involvement in pretty much everything and only do things you really want or need to do or that will really benefit your child, you aren't always busy. Instead of thinking about 50 different things or multitasking 10 different projects at once, you're actually focused and present and "in the moment" when you're around your kid.
You can't pour from an empty cup, right? You don't have to apologize for being tired or wound too tight, because you take time for you. You take time to refill your cup so you can better care for the people who depend on you.
You drink your wine, you eat your chocolate, you buy those shoes, you go for a hike; whatever it is that helps you reset. You know that self-care is valid and vital and beneficial to not only yourself, but your kid, and there's no way you can be the chill, laid-back mom you are without it.
Your Lack Of Pinteresting Crafts
Crafting appeals to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. If you're into it, do you my friend. Live your best life.
If you're not into it, however, I say you wave your white flag of "whatever" like the proud, laid-back mom you are. You really don't have to pretend to give AF about things you don't actually give AF about.