In what feels like a great cosmic, ironic joke, I spent the majority of my 20s trying not to get pregnant, only to spend much of my early 30s trying everything I could to become a mom. Despite celebrities like Madonna and Janet Jackson becoming pregnant later in their maternal lives, the common assumption (backed up by science) is that the older you get the more unlikely a positive pregnancy test will be. This "time crunch factor" only adds to the pressure, and is one of the many things about trying to conceive I'd like to forget.
Making a concerted effort to get pregnant transforms a natural and spontaneously romantic event into a clinical procedure (sometimes literally). It's no wonder that trying to conceive (TTC) can be stressful for both partners which is no doubt exacerbated by some of the insensitive and ignorant comments you may have to endure. A quick poll of my friends revealed that while TTC, they had to listen to such words of perceived "wisdom" as, "Maybe you're not meant to have kids," and "Just relax and it will happen when it's supposed to happen."
I offer all the friends and family members of any couple trying to conceive, a piece of unsolicited advice: please don't say anything. Instead, just listen and offer hugs. Along with some of the hurtful comments I endured when I was TTC, there were some other moments I would be happy to pay good money to forget, including but certainly not limited to the following: