Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

9 Things Your Baby Is Definitely Thinking When You Put Them In A Cloth Diaper

I love cloth diapers. Pretty much everything about them, including buying them, putting them on my cute little baby's bottom, taking pictures to post on social media, and even washing them (it's like a daily science project). My baby seems to like them, too. I mean, he always smiles up at me when I am changing him. And if you're like me, you might wonder what your baby is thinking when you fit them with a cloth diaper, and while I have no actual evidence to the following I am fairly certain cloth diaper babies do, in fact, have some thoughts on the issue.

I am now cloth diapering my third baby, so I can absolutely tell you it can be so addictive. I have tried a variety of styles, fabrics, and sizes over the years, and companies are constantly coming out with new options. You can probably find a diaper or cover in just about every color or print imaginable, from space cats to camo to everything in between. You can buy diapers and covers specially sized for babies from preemie to preschool, and one-size diapers that claim to fit babies from birth to potty training. I discovered, however, that one-size-fits-all diapers were no match for my son's luscious, chubby thighs.

I spent a lot of time and energy researching things like absorbency, style, fabrics, softness, durability, and ease in washing, and I would like to think that my baby appreciates my hard work. Does he even care? Does he have preferences? Maybe he prefers the softness of bamboo terry or the absorbency of hemp, the moisture-wicking quality of microsuede and fleece or the durability of cotton. For all I know, he doesn't care what he craps in. So until scientists develop a baby translation app, I'll have to use my best guess on the things my baby is thinking when I put an adorable cloth diaper on his itty bitty bum.

"Ooh, A Clean Diaper To Poop In"

Without fail, my kid always poop in a clean diaper. Every single time. What's up with that? And it's always my favorite diaper — the Wonder Woman all-in-one, with the red velvet lining — so I have to assume it's my son's favorite, too?

"That's Too Tight"

Oops, sorry, I was trying to get a snug fit on your chubby thighs and round tummy. It's hard to find the balance between too tight and too loose with cloth diapers, especially the ones with snaps and during late night diaper changes. Sorry about that.

"Better Move Fast, Or I Will Pee On You"

You would think after three babies I would be quicker at diaper changes, and avoid getting peed on, but no. The struggle is real. Especially in the middle of the night. Well, on the bright side, I probably needed to change my clothes anyway.

"That's Too Big So I Will Absolutely Pee Right Out The Leg Hole"

My child has peed out the leg and leak through his clothes on a way too regular basis. And, of course, it always happens when he's on my lap or I'm carrying my son in a sling. If I am lucky, it will just be pee and not poop. FML.

"That's Snuggly"

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

It is snuggly, cozy, and cute. I just love my son's little fluffy butt. Especially in a cute diaper, with unicorns, cats, or a custom print.

"This Is Totally Going To Leak"

It probably is totally going to leak, but that's just because the amount of pee that comes out of my son's little body defies all laws of physics. Seriously, child, how do you pee so much? It's supernatural. Time for me to size up, or try another kind of insert that's more absorbent.

"Jeez, Mom, Did Buy More Cloth Diapers?"

I may very well have a cloth diaper shopping addiction. I'm not ashamed. My kid needs them, OK? They were like 95 percent off. I am a sucker for sales and co-op group buys, and it was the best deal I've ever seen. And cute. Don't forget how cute they are. Besides, more diapers means less laundry, right?


Sorry, love, I didn't mean to pinch your little thigh. I was trying to get this diaper snapped, before you peed on me or pooped in my hand. Again. Forgive me?

"That's So Cute! Good Choice Mom!"

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

I would like to think that you appreciate the hard work and research I've done to buy cutest and most effective diapers for your little baby bottom. Yeah, probably not, but it's nice to think that he likes cloth diapers as much as I do. Especially the Wonder Woman one. That's my favorite.