Sex after baby is a big enough change. Sex if you're breastfeeding? You're definitely going to be trying something new. But if you're wondering, "Can I have sex when I'm breastfeeding?", the answer is simple — you can. As long as you don't mean while you're breastfeeding because, I don't know, that might be a little awkward. But sex as a breastfeeding mom? It's not impossible.
International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and Registered Nurse Rachael Anastasio-Collins tells Romper that you absolutely can have sex when you're breastfeeding. "It is safe for a breastfeeding mom to have sex and having sex with your partner will not impact your milk supply or the quality of your milk," Anastasio-Collins says. "So, put that worry aside and crank up the Marvin Gaye."
But she does note that there can be some changes in your sex life once you're breastfeeding. "Hormones play a large role in our ability to make breast milk and sometimes those hormones can affect our sex life," Anastasio-Collins says. "Some moms find that an orgasm causes their breasts to leak. Oxytocin, the hormone that causes our milk to flow when the baby nurses, is the same hormone that plays a huge role in orgasms and those feelings of closeness and bonding." However, she's adamant — it's not a big deal. Anastasio-Collins recommends that if you experience leaking during sex, simply press against your breasts for a few seconds to stop the flow or break out some fun, sexy lingerie and give yourself a break from the nursing bras and tank tops. You don't have to let a little breast milk in the sheets stop you from being intimate.
Anastasio-Collins also notes that some moms experience a decrease in their libido and maybe even some vaginal dryness while they are breastfeeding. Again, not a big deal. "There's no need to worry, these are not permanent changes," she says. "Just be open and honest with your partner about your needs. If you have the desire, but dryness is an issue, don’t worry — there’s a lube for that."
Lori Atkins, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and owner of Oh, Baby Lactation Care in Connecticut, agrees with Anastasio-Collins and tells Romper that the most important thing to have is a sense of humor. "And a towel nearby," Atkins says. "That oxytocin surge with an orgasm is fun, but can be a little messy. Laughter is key."
So can you have sex when you're breastfeeding? Of course you can. Just remember that it might be a little different and keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Being sprayed with breast milk during sex doesn't have to mean you give up your intimate moments, it just means adjusting, like every moment of parenthood. (Because trust me, there's a lot more messy moments to come.)