By now everyone knows that Chrissy Teigen is the queen/goddess/high priestess of social media. I mean, you do know that, right? The multi-talented model/television personality/cookbook author (
NY Times bestseller, thank you very much) who has a combined 37 million followers on Instagram and Twitter suffers exactly zero fools in her posts about everything from her marriage to her political leanings. But it's Chrissy Teigen's quotes about motherhood that have all of us fellow mamas standing up and cheering, or at least giving her an enthusiastic "like" or retweet.
I think what I love most about Chrissy Teigen's musings on motherhood is the fact that even though her life is pretty different than most of ours (I mean, hello,
she's married to John Legend), her posts are completely relatable. Wait a minute... could it be true? Are stars really just like us?
Regardless, all I know for sure is that
I cannot get enough of Chrissy Teigen and the fact that I am actually getting paid to scroll through her feed and bring you this round-up of her most relatable and hilarious thoughts on all things motherhood (in chronological order no less) is all the proof I need that I am, in fact, living my best life.
But enough about me. All Hail the Queen, and may her reign over social media be long and hilarious.
1 On Pregnancy Pains
The visuals this tweet conjures up are just too funny. And there's not a pregnant woman alive who doesn't
completely understand exactly what she's talking about. How does something so small inflict so much pain? #ouch 2 On How Hubs Is Doing
No one trolls her bae better than Chrissy, and this subtle dig on how our partners have to go through zero bodily recovery after their baby is born is just spot on. Thankfully, he seems to take it all in stride. Except, of course, when she
compares him to Arthur. 3 On The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Before having kids, I probably wouldn't have gotten how funny this is. Honestly, I probably didn't even know what that bottle was! But any mom who has delivered vaginally knows all too well just how priceless these perineal bottles are. I get all tingly just thinking about them!
4 On Postpartum Surprises
I mean, have truer words ever been spoken about the surprises of postpartum recovery? I hadn't used pads since I was in middle school, but you best believe I stocked up on those bad boys before I left the hospital (the thicker, the better). Also, if we were friends IRL I would have told her, because I now tell
everyone. 5 On Life's Greatest Mystery
I feel this so deeply in my soul it's (almost) not funny. Why is this so hard?? Side note: When you have a Grammy-winning husband in your house to sing your children to sleep and it's
still a struggle, is there any hope for the rest of us? 6 On That Blue Line
Chrissy has this practice of shutting down trolls and shamers before they even have a chance to come for her, and she knew some a-hole out there was gonna comment on how Luna needed a diaper change. Her caption gives me all the feels. What do you call a clap back that comes before the clap? A pre-clap? At any rate, it's genius.
7 On Pregnancy Being Awful
And all the pregnant women shouted, "Amen!" Creating life sure ain't for the faint of heart (or mind) (or body). Every time I think I couldn't love her more, she busts out with some real talk about pregnancy that I for one think should be placed in all those
What to Expect books. 8 On Epidurals
If this isn't mom multi-tasking at its finest, I don't know what is. I'm not sure what the end result of her question was, but I applaud her for crowdsourcing in public so others can benefit from the responses. It really does take a village.
9 On Not Tearing
This was the tweet that had me in stitches (see what I did there), because I can co-sign this
all day long. Not tearing (or having an episiotomy) during delivery is a whole new world for your lady bits in recovery. Thank you, Chrissy, for speaking the truth about buttholes. You are truly doing the Lord's work. 10 On Speaking Their Language
The funniest part of this to me is that she chose "sausage" as the thing her daughter wants. She's so wonderfully random it just fills me with joy. Also, sausage is delicious.
11 On Picking The Perfect Pic
Holding a baby
and a toddler for a photo is no small feat, and if you've ever snapped a series with your own offspring, then you know the struggle she captions is real af. I'd go with the one where I look the best, trolls be d*mned! Then again, I don't have millions of followers dissecting my every move. Praise be. 12 On Getting Them To Smile
I can't stop laughing over Chrissy's inner turmoil over telling Luna to smile. No woman likes being told to smile, and by the look on Luna's face, she is just not having it today - not even for mama. Also, can we please talk about Chrissy's perfectly messy but still beautiful topknot? Mom goals, caption goals, hair goals... she's just all the goals.
13 On The Things We Do To Make Them Happy
All good moms want to make their kids happy, even if that means donning a Princess Jasmine costume in the middle of December (note the stockings) so that you can watch
Aladdin with your toddler. The half-zipped top is just too good! Even supermodel moms know comfort is key. 14 On Cooking With Kids
interview with Good Housekeeping , Chrissy fesses up to not realizing how unrealistic some of her recipes were for busy moms. She states, "In my first cookbook ( Cravings: Recipes for All the Food You Want to Eat), I can’t believe I said I wanted you to do everything yourself. ‘Fry your own wontons!’ Two kids later, I apologize." Yeah, there's definitely no wontons being fried in my house. We've all been there though: When it comes to motherhood, you just have no way of knowing how hard it is to get things done until you're knee-deep in it. 15 On Their Favorite Music
Is there a mom alive who hasn't been subjected to a Kidz Bop marathon and wondered what fresh hell she's been forced into? No, the answer is no. I mean no disrespect to all the hard-working kids who record those songs, but after a while, it can really make you feel as if you've entered a parallel universe. And people wonder why moms drink...
16 On Flying With Kids
As someone who recently did this with children as well, I don't think she was exaggerating when she said, "life changing." Nothing will make you question all of your life choices faster than trying to calm a tantrum on a long-haul flight. That said, I really hope this whole "no more kids" thing blows over, because the world
needs more Teigen/Legend babies in our lives (so she can write about them, of course).