As parents, we try to shield our young children from the horrors of reality. Some might replace a dead goldfish while the kids are at school, or perhaps tell the little ones that their uncle is "on vacation" rather than in prison. Some take the long way home to avoid anti-choice protesters waving grotesque signs. But sometimes there's no avoiding reality, and the reality is that Donald J. Trump, hotelier and part-time woman insulter, is running for President of the United States. He's unavoidable, so eventually you'll need to know how to explain Donald Trump to your kid.
This won't be easy, obviously. You can dance around other heavy topics, only revealing what your child actually needs to know. Some kids even accept it when you promise to explain when they're older. But Trump is on your TV, on your computer, and in your neighbors' yards, and you're terrified of what Grandma might be telling him when you're not around. The time to act is now, before Junior comes home from preschool crying, asking you if his best friends are going to be deported.
Let's break it down step by step, answering each question a young child might have about our potential future cherisher-in-chief.