If You Can Answer These 25 Questions About Your Partner, Your Relationship Will Last
Falling in love is great and, if you're anything like me, you probably spent the beginning weeks or months of your relationship staying up late to talk about anything and everything. Eventually, though, those rose-colored glasses fall off and it's time to get to know your partner on a deeper, more realistic level. If you've ever wondered just what you should know about them, though, have no fear. Start off with these 25 surprising questions about your partner that you should know the answers to, and you'll be able to say you truly know "everything" about your partner in no time.
For starters, of course, you should have the basics covered. You know, stuff like the color of their eyes and their mother's maiden name. You might want to know their preference for chocolate (milk, dark, or white?) and if they're a cat or dog person. But when it comes to the more interesting and surprising things that your partner may reveal over the course of a lifetime, you might be shocked to learn the answer to more than a few of the questions below.
If you're positive you'd fail a round or two of The Newlywed Game (hello nostalgia), now is a great time to brush up on your partner trivia and ask them a few of the following questions. For instance, do you know what they like to watch when they're sick? Do you know how they feel about their family? And, maybe most importantly, do you know how they express their love for you? Read on for all of the things that you should probably know about your partner ASAP.
1. Are They Allergic To Anything?
Although it might seem a bit obvious, knowing if your partner has an allergy is important to your relationship, according to OUT. Whether it's a mild allergy to strawberries, or a life-threatening allergy to a bee sting, knowing the intimate details of your partner's health are important — especially in the case that you need to do something if an accidental allergy reaction or attack happens.
2. What Does Friendship Look Like To Them?
According to SELF, one of the things you should know about your partner is what friendship means to them. Are they the kind of person to take a big weekend trip with friends once a year? Do they prefer intimate, one-on-one dinners with their BFF? Are phone calls their thing, or do they prefer to text with their friends all day? Knowing your partner's preference in how they conduct their friendships helps you to understand when they need some time alone to reconnect with a friend, or whether you can join in on the group activity.
3. Who Would Be Their Dream Dinner Guest?
If your partner could have anyone as their dinner guest, alive or dead, who would they choose? According to Psychology Today, knowing the answer to this question is one of the things that can bring the two of you closer together. If you don't know the answer, don't be afraid to ask them about their ideal dinner guest and why they would want to meet that person. Then, of course, don't be afraid to share who would be at the top of your list for this special dinner, too.
4. What Is Their Dream Career Goal?
According to Business Insider, one of the main things that you should know about your partner is what their career history and career goals are over the short and long-term. Knowing someone's career can say a lot about them, and understanding how your partner arrived at their current position, and what their future career goals may be, can give you a deeper insight into their interests and motivations. Ultimately, this can help you to understand your partner better.
"An awareness of your partner’s career goals gives you a glimpse of their dreams and aspirations, which can not only help you know your partner better, but also provide you with another gauge of your compatibility," practicing psychologist and Harvard lecturer Holly Parker, PhD, author of If We're Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?, told Business Insider.
5. How Do They Say "I Love You"?
How your partner expresses their love for you is something that you should know about them and about your relationship as a whole, according to Babble. A good place to start is with understanding the five love languages, which, according to SheKnows, are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Does your partner bring you flowers on days that they know you will be stressed, anxious, or worked up? Does your partner kiss, hug, and touch you constantly? These might be just some of the small, subtle ways that they show their love.
6. Do They Like Mustard Or Mayo?
According to Oprah, one of the things that you should know about your partner is whether they like mustard or mayonnaise. This may seem like an almost trivial point, but knowing their little quirks and preferences (and them knowing yours) could be the stuff a lasting love is made of. For instance, if your partner is in the bathroom and the waitress asks about their sandwich preferences when you order, do you know how to answer? Knowing something this small can mean a lot in the long run.
7. How Do They Feel About Faith?
According to BRIDES, something that you should know about your partner before getting married (and even afterward) is whether or not they have an active relationship with particular faith. You need to know if your partner identifies with a particular set of religious believes, whether they grew up with one, whether they found faith later on as an adult, and how strongly his or her religious feelings are. This is especially important when considering long-term plans, such as having and raising children together.
"If you plan on someday having kids, would either of you be adamant about raising them in a certain way?" Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps To Take Your Marriage From Good To Great, told BRIDES is an important question to consider.
8. Do They Share Your Values?
Another important thing you need to know about your partner is their values, and whether those values match up with yours, according to Glamour. This not only applies to religion, but also to things like family and politics. Do you have shared goals and values, or do you have conflicting ideologies that may cause trouble down the line?
"It's important to know you have similar values so you don't feel blindsided or surprised when your partner tells you what they're willing or unwilling to do in terms of shared goals," Jane Greer, Ph.D., relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship told Glamour.
9. How Do They Feel About Their Relationship With Their Family?
According to the aforementioned OUT article, you should also know about your partner's relationship with their family and how they feel about it. Some people have close, tight-knit families, while others choose to build a family with their friends — and many of us are somewhere in between. Knowing this major detail about your partner is crucial to understanding everything from how you'll be spending the holidays to why your partner frequently ignores calls from their mom.
10. What Does Their Perfect Day Look Like?
According to the aforementioned SELF article, another thing that you should know about your partner is what their perfect day might look like. This is a fun little piece of trivia that may lead to some of your own special planning with your partner. Don't be afraid to share your perfect day with them, too, so that the two of you can try to make them happen someday.
11. What Is Your Partner Most Grateful For?
According to the aforementioned Psychology Today article, you should know what your partner is most grateful for in this big world. Of course, you probably not-so-secretly hope it is you (and maybe it is), but knowing the answer to this very important question can actually improve your relationship.
According to a University of Georgia study, being grateful in your relationship is a key component of a healthy marriage over time. So whether you and your partner are most grateful for each other, or if the relationship you share is just one of the many things on your gratitude list, it's important to recognize gratitude in your daily lives.
12. What Are Their Lifestyle Habits?
Some couples live happily ever after with perfectly mismatched habits, like one person who wants to stay at home and watch Netflix all day and another who wants to go out all of the time. The important thing is to be able to answer the question of which end of this spectrum your partner falls on, according to the aforementioned Business Insider article. However, it can definitely be better if the two of you match up on important issues — like eating or exercise habits — and deal with the question of whether the two of you should go out on Friday night later.
13. What Are Their Medical Needs And Wishes?
According to the aforementioned Babble article, knowing your partner's medical needs and wishes is an important question that you should be able to answer in cases of emergency. Although it is a very difficult topic to discuss, and likely not something that either of you wants to even think about happening, it is important to know what their wishes are if they ever get injured and end up in the hospital. When speaking with doctors (especially if your partner is for some reason unable to communicate their own wishes), you need to know what to say.
14. What Is Their Number One Obsession?
According to the aforementioned Oprah article, one of the interesting or surprising things that you should know about your partner is what they are obsessed with. For instance, is your partner absolutely in love with SpaceX and everything that relates to space travel? Or is your partner slowly saving up money to visit all Seven Wonders of the World? Regardless of what quirky obsession your partner has, it's worth knowing (if only to gently poke a little fun at them, because that's what a partner is for, right?).
15. What Movie Do They Watch When They Are Sick?
At least one week a year, when my partner gets sick, he insists on watching HBO's 2001 miniseries Band of Brothers. It's part of a routine that he has held for many years before I even knew him, and it's one that he continues to enjoy to this day. According to the aforementioned OUT article, knowing your partner's favorite movie or TV show is important — but it's even more important to your relationship to know which actually make them tick, which make them cry, and which are their go-to cheering up flicks.
16. What Is Something They Would Like To Get Better At?
Everyone has something that they would like to improve upon, right? For me, I wish I was better at photography. For my partner, he wants to master German. For you or your partner, it might be learning to play the guitar or making the perfect chocolate chip cookie. According to the aforementioned SELF article, knowing the answer to this question might just make you a better, stronger couple because you can support and encourage each other's goals. Besides, maybe you can even tackle that advanced pottery class together and really turn up the fun.
17. If They Could Gain One Quality Or Ability, What Would It Be?
A fun and silly question, for sure, but everyone daydreams from time to time. According to the aforementioned Psychology Today article, one of the things you should know about your partner is what their secret superpower or ideal quality and ability would be if they could just magically wake up different one day. Does your partner secretly want to fly? Does he or she want to live inside of the world of Harry Potter? Does your partner wish that they could wake up with the ability to speak with animals? Nothing is off the table in this great and possibly very insightful question.
18. What Is Their Blood Type?
According to the aforementioned Oprah article, one of the big things you need to know about your partner is their blood type. It may not be the most romantic piece of information, to be sure, but it's an important one. If they end up in the hospital, knowing their blood type could help them receive the care they need.
19. What Are They Truly Afraid Of?
According to the aforementioned OUT article, one of the first questions you know the answer to is what your partner is afraid of. This can include anything from the mundane and typical (like my personal crippling fear of bees) to the more existential (like a deep-seated fear of failure that keeps one from ever finishing a passion project). In times of need and comfort, it's good for you to know your partner's fears and for them to know yours. After all, whose else's shoulder can you cry on if all of a sudden your great fear rears its ugly head?
20. What Is Their Favorite Dessert?
Do you ever have a really hard day and just want someone to bring you your favorite Ben & Jerry's Mint Cookie Crisp ice cream? I feel you. According to SELF, one of the interesting things you should know about your partner is their dessert of choice. Whether it's a delectable crème brûlée that they simply must order any time it's on the menu, or their mom's famous homemade Rice Krispies treats, knowing what sweet treat your partner adores is a subtle indicator that you know them and their little weaknesses.
21. What Is Their Most Treasured Memory?
According to the aforementioned Psychology Today article, one of the keys to lasting love is knowing your partner's most treasured memory. Maybe it's that magical summer they spent by the lake with their dad growing up or going to a Cubs game with their family during their winning 2016 season. It's great to share your treasured memories with your partner, too. And, of course, one of the other most important things is to begin making your own treasured memories together.
22. Do They Love Or Hate Their Birthday?
According to Oprah, everyone has a different view of their birthday and you should definitely know how your partner feels about theirs. If you're really lucky, your birthday styles match each other — like when How I Met Your Mother's Lily loved her birthday and loved surprises, while her husband Marshall loved to arrange surprises for her birthday. Being a good match in your birthday styles is great, but it's also just important as to know how your partner wants to handle theirs (and respecting their wishes, of course).
23. What Would They Save If The House Suddenly Burned Down?
According to Psychology Today, if your house should ever accidentally burn down, knowing what your partner would rescue in case of a fire is something you should definitely know about them (and about yourself). It might be a fairly scary and an unpleasant thing to think about, but also an important potential scenario to consider.
24. What Is Their Ideal Vacation?
Planning a vacation with your partner is really fun, but do you know what their actual dream getaway would be? According to the aforementioned OUT article, that's something that you should know the answer to. Not only is it good information about the kind of trips they might be into, but it's also a fun way to dream together about where you might go next. Is it a city vacation in Buenos Aires that they're hoping to see, or relaxing in the warm, clear waters of Tahiti? Perhaps it's both and you can slowly start to save up for your dream trip.
25. What Is Their Go-To Karaoke Song?
According to OUT, a less serious but equally fun fact that you should know about your partner is what their go-to karaoke song is. It might sound a bit silly, sure, but you never know when someone will break out the karaoke machine or suggest going to the karaoke bar down the street. In these cases, when you are out as a couple and having a good time, it's nice to know what song to sing along to when your sweetie takes the stage. And if you have a couple's go-to song, too, even better.