Do you remember being a kid and thinking you wanted to know where babies come from? Because it's such a big mystery when you're little; although to be fair pretty much everything is a big mystery when you're little. And I think it's unfair to expect parents to somehow know the perfect way to explain where babies come from in a way that will make sense to kids. It's a task that apparently escapes even the most consummately entertaining people. Despite their reputation as being super charming, Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell's 5-year-old daughter was pretty unimpressed when they tried to have "the talk" with her. So I guess that doesn't bode well for the rest of us, does it?
Shepard and Bell are parents to two little girls, 5-year-old Lincoln and 3-year-old Delta, according to People. While they tend to be pretty private about sharing photos of their daughters, they are generous enough to share the odd parenting anecdote or two with their fans.
Most recently the pair were guests of Ellen DeGeneres on Ellen to promote their new plant-based baby line called Hello Bello, and they got talking about their kids. Or more specifically, their oldest daughter Lincoln and a certain question she asked them recently. That old "Where do babies come from?" question that has left many a parent sweating in the past.
As the pair related to DeGeneres, Lincoln asked her parents "Where do babies come from?" and they decided it was time for "real talk." Shepard explained that they tried their best to go through the anatomy, "laying it all out, we get right to the action... "
"Right to the good part." Bell chimed in. "And then she's like, 'OK, I've got to go outside. And then she just left. She bailed."
It seems they weren't quite entertaining enough to keep their daughter interested in all of that baby-making business, according to BuzzFeed.
As Shepard explained, "She knows all the organs but when it got to the actual nuts and bolts of the operation, she didn't care."
Bell admitted that she figured they "bored her to death," and she's probably right. Because the nitty gritty bits of information about baby-making is probably not as interesting to a 5-year-old as, say, mud or bugs or anything else outside.
I feel it's important to defend Bell and Shepard's apparently lukewarm explanation of conception. Their daughter Lincoln is pretty young so her concentration level isn't necessarily going to be fantastic, and sometimes these explanations take a few tries to really stick. In case Lincoln comes back for round two, they might want to use a bit of a script... I like this one The Daily Mirror shared from child psychologist Dr. Miriam Stoppard tailor made for kids aged 4 through 6: "You were made from a seed from Daddy and an egg from Mummy. Daddy’s seed and Mummy’s egg joined together in Mummy’s tummy to make you, so you’re very special – and a lovely mixture of Daddy and Mummy."
There you have it, folks. The hard part of having "the talk" with your kids has been sorted for you and yes, you're welcome.