I love sex as much as the next person, but I was turned off at even the idea of getting it on when I was postpartum and breastfeeding. Between trying to recover from childbirth to having a tiny human attached to me all day to all the fluids I was leaking, I never felt a strong desire to get busy. But when I did, and after it was medically safe to do so, I threw what was left of my inhibitions to the wind. So, no, I don't care if I leak breast milk during sex, and for a few valid reasons I think are worth discussing openly, honestly, and without shame.
Sure, at first it was a little off putting... until I remembered that I had been leaking fluids at some time or another for a solid couple of months so, by then, "leaking" was considered my default status. Whether it was during pregnancy, when I would pee every time I threw up, or during birth and after my water broke, or postpartum wen I continuously bled for what seemed like a lifetime, my body secreting something or another was just, you know, normal. I'm an adult, I can handle normal.
Plus, sex is supposed to be messy, my friends. I mean, I don't know what kind of fetishized porn you all are watching, but bodily fluids and sex kind of go hand-in-hand. So, no, you won't see me blushing or cringing in embarrassment if I leak a few drops of breast milk during sex, and here's why:
Because Bodily Fluids Are Normal
This isn't the best argument but... I mean... who cares?! It's a bodily fluid, and those are normal! What is often considered "gross" is just a body doing body things.
Because My Partner Doesn't Mind
This might be "too much information," but we're all big kids and we should be able to talk about sex openly and honestly. So I say, without any shame, that my partner truly doesn't care if I am leaking breast milk all over him during sex. In fact, he kinda digs it. After all, we both had to wait six weeks (and then some) to have sex in the first place. He's not going to let a little breast milk rain on his orgasm parade.
Because Bodies Have Always Been Gross
Who are we kidding, people? Bodies are objectively disgusting! It's OK! They're bodies! They're supposed to make weird noises and leak and do arguably strange things that are entirely normal and beneficial. I am not going to buy into the notion that, as a woman, my body is supposed to be devoid of human body things... like leaking bodily fluids. I poop, I sweat, I fart, and, yes, sometimes I leak breast milk. This is what it's like to be a human being.
Because It's Uncontrollable
It's not like I'm willing my boobs to produce milk at the precise time I'm having sex. This isn't a thing I'm hoping will happen. It's completely uncontrollable, because bodies will be bodies. The same hormone that helps me orgasm — oxytocin — is responsible for milk let down. Don't blame me... blame science.
Because Sex Is Supposed To Be Messy
In my opinion, if you're not having messy sex you're doing it wrong. There are supposed to be bodily fluids involved, my friends. That's literally how this whole sex thing works.
Because At Least My Boobs Are Making Breast Milk
I like to look on the bright side, dear reader, and the bright side of leaky boobs during sex is that my body is able to produce breast milk in the first place. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to nurse my son, and while it wasn't easy, it was something I was mentally and physically able to accomplish. That's a win, even if I have to change my sheets more times than I'd care to.
Because I've Already Leaked My Way Through Parenthood
If bodies are gross, so is parenthood. That's really all there is left to say. I mean, my water broke all over a hospital floor, I pooped in front of at least five strangers, I was bleeding for weeks on end, and there were moments when I couldn't figure out if the fluid on my shirt came from me or the baby. Leaking breast milk during sex is a blip on my bodily fluid radar.
Because My Partner Understands
Now, my partner understanding wouldn't stop me from feeling laid back about my whole leaking boobs situation. In fact, it would be a problem I would absolutely discuss with him.
Having said that, my partner isn't going to make fun of me, or try to make me feel gross, or blame me for my body doing body things. He's a grown-ass adult, like me, who knows how this whole lactation thing works. That makes the whole "not caring" thing much, much easier.